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Transcript
— This is a transcribed copy of A Friend Indeed. —
Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Walk Like a Man" Next: "Watch the Watch"

Ickis: Oh, this is going to be great!

Hair: Herb? Do we have a carrot? Aw, there's a pretty little bunny.

Ickis: Yuck!

[???]

Ickis: Oh, did I get a third eye? No. Or big giant fangs and a thousand tiny legs? No. I get floppy ears! Why can't I look like Glog or Borl or Spoop or Urbab? Oh, forget it. Forget it! I'm not anybody scary. I'm...

[???]

Ickis: Hello? Excuse me. Stop it!

Person: I'm, I'm sorry, kid. Nice scare.

Ickis: Oh... [ Chuckles] You think so? I'm so glad. One question... Why weren't you scared?!

Person: I'm sorry, kid. If you're looking for a human to scare, you're out of luck.

Ickis: [Gulps] You're--

Person: Just like you, kid.

Ickis: Well, why aren't you underground?

Person: You don't want to know.

Ickis: Yes, I do.

Person: You want to know why I left the monster world? It's because I look... Like this.

[???]

Gromble: Despite the unexcused absence of master Ickis We're just going to have to begin. Bappy, if you will.

Person: Kid, you all right?

Ickis: You, you look... Your face! Your face, it looks.. Human!

Person: And you got ears like the easter bunny.

Ickis: I bet... Who cares if I have big ears?! It does not mean I am not a monster.

Person: Who cares if I got a human face?

Ickis: Oh, that is different! I mean, it's... You're right. I'm sorry.

Plastoog: The name's Plastoog, kid. What's yours?

Ickis: Mud.

Plastoog: What?

Ickis: I just remembered Even if I make it to class I did not get my scare. I'm sunk.

Plastoog: Maybe not. Come on.

[???]

plastoog: Well, kid There it is.

Gromble: Excellent, zooeuh. Well done. Well, that's everybody.

Ickis: well, I don't know About that. Oh, I'm so sorry I was a tad late Old man. But, you know, an exceptional scare Is like fine slime. It must age, mature. One must wait for just the right moment.

[???]

Krumm: He walked into a mall.

Dizzle: Too many people-- he'll never pull it off.

Oblina: They'll see him.

Krumm: They're going to catch him.

Dizzle: I can't watch.

[??]

Gromble: That was you?

Ickis: That was me. This stinking weed of scaring has finally blossomed. I have realized my potential.

Gromble: Ickis That was magnificent!

Ickis: I know.

[Cheering and applause]

Ickis: they loved it! Oh, it was great! You're amazing! I'm amazing. You know, I get around you And I think, who cares what we look like? We are scary. Ah, you must have been great in school.

Plastoog: Head of my class.

Ickis: Oh! If you can scare like that Oh, you should come back.

Plastoog: Ahh, not a chance, kid. I'm never going back. Nobody cares how you scare. All they care about is what you look like.

Ickis: That is not true! Look at me, I don't care that you look like...

Plastoog: Like a game show host.

Ickis: Right!

Plastoog: What's a game show host? It's the worst thing you can imagine. Ickis, when I was a student Everyone laughed at me. I didn't have a friend in the world. I-i take that back. One quiet little guy, he stuck by me. But that wasn't enough. Even with a friend I knew I could never have a normal monster life. So I left.

Ickis: But it's not like that anymore-- Not where I go to school.

Plastoog: Why would it change? No... I'm not going back And don't you dare tell anyone I'm here. They'd be up here in a second Laughing and pointing. I couldn't bear it. Promise me. Ickis, promise me You won't tell anyone you've seen me.

Ickis: I promise.

Plastoog: Good. Now let's go scaring.

[???]

Plastoog: Is this the place?

Ickis: This is it.

Hair: Goodness, have I won something?

Plastoog: Why, yes, indeed. It's a brand-new Improved state-of-the-art...

Ickis: Rabbit!

Plastoog: Nice!

Ickis: Thank you.

Man: Excuse me Is this the home of marge miller?

Plastoog: say, aren't you...

[???]

Ickis: This is great! I've never ridden Inside a car before. So where we going?

[???]

Gromble: It has been years-- Goodness, probably 300 years-- since I've seen such innovation... Such originality. I don't know what's happened to you, Ickis. But I like it. Excuse me, Ickis? Ickis!

Ickis: Do you think a monster Would be any less of a monster If he, say, looked like... A game show host?

Gromble: Game show what?

Ickis: I can't. I-it's just that... Oh, never mind.

Gromble: Scaring, Ickis Is all that matters to me. And it should be all that matters to you... All of you. Anyone who feels differently does not belong in this school. Understood?

Ickis: May I be excused?

Gromble: Now? No.

Ickis: Thanks.

Gromble: ICKIS!

Ickis: Plastoog! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

Plastoog: Yeah?

Ickis: You, you can come back! It's all right. Nobody will make fun of you.

plastoog: I'm fine right here.

Ickis: I cannot believe You don't miss living underground.

Plastoog: I belong in the monster world. The truth is, they just won't have me. So I live here now.

Ickis: Yeah, but-but-but-but-but, I-I asked, it's okay.

Plastoog: You told them about me?

Ickia: No, no, no, no, no. See, I just wanted To see how they'd react if you were... Well, you know If someone like you came back underground.

Plastoog: There's no way You're going to get me down there.

Ickis: We'll see.

[???]

Oblina: Oh, and why, exactly Are we gathering everyone together?

Ickis: There's this, well... I-I-I-I can't tell you. Please, with maggots and slime?

Both: all right.

Ickis: Thanks, I got to go.

[???]

Ickis: Ahh! Perfect.

Oblina: Oh, I am sure You must be wondering why we got you out of bed. And so now, I shall tell you. It's because, uh... Krumm has something to say.

Krumm: Uh, there isn't really anything...

Oblina: [Menacing]: Krumm.

Krumm: ...more exciting and romantic Than being a mold farmer. And I know because I've been there.

plastoog: Now, what was it you wanted to show me?

Ickis: Oh, you can't see it from there. You have to stand over here... Here. No, no, no, no, over here, over here. No, no, no Here, here, here. Yeep!

Plastoog: Ickis?

Ickis: Plastoog!

Krumm: So, it looked like We'd never get the mold harvest in. But then...

[Thud]

Kurmm: But then we did.

Plastoog: Ickis, what did you do? How could you?

Ickis: Listen, everybody, come here. I want to introduce someone. He is a monster-- Come here-- except, well... Hey, wait a minute. We all look different. And we are all still monsters Right? Would any of us Be any less of a monster If he looked... Human?

Krumm: Hi! I'm Krumm.

Gromble: There'd better be A really good reason Why none of you are in bed! Plastoog?

Plastoog: Gromble?

Gromble: I can't believe it. Where have you been all these years?

Plastoog: I've been living in the human world.

Gromble: Oh, how awful! You poor monster.

Plastoog; Th-th... They're not scared of me, are they?

Gromble: They'd better not be. If I've taught my class anything It's that the way you look doesn't matter. It's the way you scare that counts. Class, this is Plastoog. A schoolmate of mine.

Ickis: You went to school with the Gromble?

Plastoog: He's that quiet little kid I told you about.

Ickis: The Gromble, quiet?

Gromble: My oldest friend! And one of the greatest scarers I've ever known! Plastoog, will you come back And live with us? There have been a lot of changes in the monster world These past 300 years.

Plastoog: And I want to see them all. I'm going to hit the sewers Travel the monster world, Grombie. Let them know Plastoog is back! But this place, it'll always be my home.

Gromble: Just one question, old friend.

Plastoog: Anything.

Gromble: What's... A game show host?

Plastoog: Oh, Grombie It's too terrible to describe.

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