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— This is a transcribed copy of Blind Love, Monster Love. —
Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
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[episode starts at the park.]

Man: Did my heart love til now, for swear it sight, For I never saw true beauty til this night.

Man 2: Tis he, the villain Romeo.

Man: Holy moley. Monsters!

Krumm: Another viewfinder classic.

Voice: Stop! Give me that! Well, that's the end of that I'll bet.

Ickis: Oh. Wow...

[Ickis' eyes turned to hearts as his heart pounded.]

Oblina: Ickis.

Ickis: Oblina, Krumm, hello.

Oblina: Hello yourself, Ickis. What are you doing out here?

Ickis: Looking at the moon.

Oblina: Okay, let's go.

[???]

Gromble: So, to repeat, Pythagory stated that the total length of the fear produced by a monster is equal to-- Ickis? We were discussing Pythagory's Theorem.

Ickis: Oh. That's nice.

Gromble: I'm glad you think so. Ickis!

Ickis: Did I ever tell you I think those shoes look great on you?

Gromble: Oh, do you think so? Actually I found them-- Ickis! Come down here. I hate to think I'm boring you. Snorch? Would you please provide Ickis with something that will hold his interest? And make it hurt.

Ickis: All done? You know, we don't spend hardly enough time together.

[???]

Judy: Give me that! You got to be more careful!

[???]

Oblina: What is wrong with him?

Krumm: I think it's pretty obvious. He's in love.

Oblina: In love. Ickis.

Krumm: So, Ickis. who's the lucky monster?

Ickis: Monster? She's not a monster.

Oblina: Ickis! She a human? Ickis, you cannot! I mean, it's forbidden! No, no! It's worse than that!

Ickis: Not a human. Oblina, no, no, she's not a human. She's a Judy.

Oblina: A Judy?

Ickis: I dunno. She's small and hideous. And move like she was walking on air.

Krumm: Wow. Where'd you meet her?

Ickis: Meet her? As in talk to her? Oh, no, no, Krumm, I mean, she's perfect and I'm, I'm dull with the eyes and the ears and oh-- Someone like her would-- Oh, she'd never want to meet a monster like me.

Oblina: Now now. that is where you are wrong. Not only is she going to meet you, this Judy, whatever she is-- she is going to... love you. Krumm, find some clear water and some soap. Hold your nose, Ickis. I am cleaning you up.

[???]

Ickis: How do I look?

Krumm: If this Judy likes 'em clean, she's gonna love you.

Ickis: What do I say?

Krumm: Tell her that you felt the joy of a successful scare, breathed the fumes of festering trash and seen hills of foil that glittered like stars in the moonlight. Tell her that none of that means a thing to you compared to her.

Oblina: Krumm. That was beautiful.

Ickis: Could you write it down?

[Later back at the park]

Judy: Give me that! You got to be more careful!

Ickis: Yes yes yes!

[???]

Ickis: Hey! Don't do that. Don't worry, I'll get you out of here.

[???]

Ickis: Judy? Judy? [sobbing] Judy! Speak to me! Can you hear me, Judy? Come on, Judy, please wake up! Okay. Wait here. I'm gonna get the doctor. You rest, you rest, uh-huh. I'll be back, I promise, I promise.

[???]

Krumm: Oblina, what's that?

Oblina: Ew! It's one of those human puppets.

Krumm: I wonder how it got here?

Oblina: I will bet you Ickis got it for his sweetheart. Do you think Ickis has brought her back here? Well, I'll bet you he is showing her around.

Krumm: Grool. Well come on let's surprise him. [as Judy] Ickis!

Ickis: Judy!

Oblina: This is Judy?

Ickis: You're all right, you're all right! I was so scared! I thought-- I thought--

Oblina: Ickis, this is Judy?

Ickis: Yes, Oblina. Here, Judy, meet everybody. Everybody...

Oblina: Ickis, Ickis dear, don't.

Ickis But this is Judy.

Monster Doctor: We got ourselves a problem

Ickis: I know she's not like us, but I don't care. I love her.

Oblina: Krumm, get out of there this instant.

Ickis: It's not like what we look like or where we from that matter that things that makes us hideous is what's inside of us and inside Judy is...

[Krumm takes the Judy puppet off.]

Ickis: Krumm?

[There was an awkward silence.]

Oblina: [Awkwardly laugh] Oh, we got them Ickis.

Ickis: We did?

Oblina: Yes, yes. I mean, look at them. You did a great job. Good job. Really have them fooled. You actually have them believed that you were in love with a puppet. Oh, you're good.

Gromble: Wait, a joke?

Oblina: Yes, yes. Of course. I mean, would it be heartbreaking and embarrassing for Ickis if wasn't a joke?

Gromble: Of course, a joke. One excellent joke. Don't you think?

Monster Doctor: Uh, wait a minute.

Gromble: Come on, everybody. Let's leave these jokers alone. They need to talk.

Monster Doctor: You're not gonna let me take him? What about some tests, I mean, can I at least run some tests?

Gromble: No! He's been through enough!

Oblina: Oh, Ickis. I am sorry.

Ickis: What for? Like you said, it was a joke.

Krumm: Don't be mad, Ickis. Oblina only said that so they wouldn't make fun of you.

Ickis: Well. it was a joke. What do you think of that? It was a joke. I knew she was a... uh...

Oblina: Puppet, dear.

Ickis: Right. I knew that all the time. You thought I was... I was in love with her? I mean, will you look at her. Look at her. I'm gonna go and take her back.

Krumm: Though blind, this monster's star-crossed love still burned as true and pure as any human's heart. So when you speak of this, feel no regret for Ickis and his puppet Juliet.

Ickis: Well, nobody's perfect. But you were pretty close.

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