Cold Hard Toenails is the first part of the tenth episode of Aaahh!!! Real Monsters from season one.
|Cold Hard Toenails|
|Episode||18 (Season 1, Episode 10a)|
|Airdate||December 31, 1994|
|Directed by||Jim Duffy|
|Written by||Peter Gaffney|
|Aaahh!!! Real Monsters|
"The Great Wave"
"Attack of the Blobs"
Ickis finds hundreds and hundreds of toenails (the most precious thing known to monsters) while trying to scare a human, and is now rich. But when he dumps his friends for toenails, brags about his wealth, and becomes a rude snob, he wants his old life back!
A story of pirate monster sailing the Sea of Glork is being told by a librarian monster at the monster library. He tells them how they defeated their opponents and located the chest of toenails, the most precious thing known to monsters. Ickis, Oblina, and Krumm overhear the story, and later leave to scare some humans.
The Monsters split up to find the house with the address 132, 235 Street to scare the humans in. But Ickis comes across a house and misconstrues it as 131, which is an old mansion. Ickis sneaks inside and finds an old human clipping his toenails and storing them in a jar and inside a closet, where he has stashed his other toenail collection in. When the old man goes to sleep, Ickis sneaks to the closet to take all the toenails.
The next day, The Monsters wake up and Oblina and Krumm chastise Ickis for not showing up at the house last night. Ickis shows them a jar of toenails and his friends tell him that he is rich. Ickis uses the toenails to purchase a new home called the Le Dump Luxury Apartment and invites Krumm and Oblina to live with him. Soon, Ickis becomes smug about his wealth and brags to the other monsters about it as well. When he walks through the library, the librarian monster tells him that fast wealth isn't always what it seems. He is about to tell Ickis the story of the pirate monsters, but Ickis quickly interrupts and claims that he won't end up exactly like that.
Back at the Le Dump Luxury Apartment, Oblina and Krumm tell Ickis that they are moving back in their old room due to the fact that they have a lack of comfort around them. Ickis continues to live his wealthy lifestyle and one day, he finds that one of his guests is looking for something under the bed. Accusing the guests of searching for his toenails, he promptly kicks them out. He searches under the bed for his chest of toenails, only to discover that they are all missing.
Ickis goes to the house to grab more toenails and ends up packing them in a suitcase. He narrowly escapes from the old man chasing him (which convinces the old man that he was only dreaming). By the time Ickis reaches the dump, the handle of the suitcase snaps as he hauls it and the suitcase falls into the river. Ickis runs to it to retrieve it, only to end up drowning. Luckily, he is rescued by Oblina and Krumm. Ickis is not upset of the fact that the suitcase of toenails are all gone now, but is instead laughing at the fact that he went so crazy just to retrieve them. He, Krumm, and Oblina then eat money in a suitcase they were holding earlier, and the monster librarian is shown swimming down the bottom of the river grabbing the suitcase of toenails.
- This episode was released on the Meet the Monsters VHS.
- The Pirate and Hermit are played by Jonathan Winters.