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— This is a transcribed copy of Goin' (Way) South. —
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[episode starts]

Reporter: Lars halverson... You've scaled mt. Everest, swam the english channel And circumnavigated the globe in a plane made out of tin foil. What is your next adventure?

Lars: Today, I announce the I go to the southern park of the world and cross Antarctica. Alone.

Reporter: Aren't you afraid?

Lars: Fear? It's unknown to lars halverson. I am afraid of nothing. [ Quietly]: except commitment.

Man: I hear ya.

The Gromble: A human afraid of nothing? Nothing puckers my PUTRID PUSS MORE than seeing a pathetic human claiming he's not afraid? I want that human to know fear.

Ickis: Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bathtub.

The Gromble: Something you want to share with the class, ICKIS?!

Ickis: [Whimpers] I was just... I was just...

Oblina: Well said.

The Gromble: Oblina, perhaps you like to speak before Ickis.

Oblina: Me? I uh, uh uh... I, I, I...

The Gromble: SILENCE!

Krumm: I think what my friends are trying to say is-

The Gromble: QUIET!

[All the scientists are studying him.]

Lars: It's time.

Ickis: Oh, well, he's not here, let's go.

Oblina: There he is. The fearless lars halverson. This is going to be our greatest scare yet. On three. One, two, three.

Lars: Here, k*ller, here, butcher. Here, assassin.

All: Bark and bites!

Krumm: I smell trouble.


Krumm: I smell trouble.

[The husky dogs are barking.]

Krumm: I smell trouble.

Ickis: Would you stop saying that?

Lars: It's colder than I thought. It's isolated. One wrong move and I could freeze to death. I love my job. You want a little beef jerky?

Krumm: That's what that was.

[The husky dogs are barking, chasing the monsters.]

Lars: Get back here!

Ickis: Uh... Excuse me. What are you doing?

Oblina: I am turning around.

Ickis: Turning around? We don't want to go that way! We want to go home.

Oblina: We came here to get a scare and that is exactly what we are going to do.

Ickis: We're doomed.

Oblina: Oh poo. He's gone.

Ickis: Oh, what a shame.

Lars: Mush, mush!

Oblina: Follow me! We will cut him off to the pass.

Lars: Mush, mush!

[The cliff they had been standing on breaks and all three monsters landed in the snow and the avalanche covered them. After a moment, Ickis popped out of the snow and brush the snow out of his ears. Oblina popped up and spat out a chunk full of snow. Krumm popped out last with his other eye missing. A penguin takes the eye away.]

Krumm: Hey! He stole my eye!

[The other monsters begin to chase after the penguin.]

Oblina: Which one was it, Krumm? Which one stole your eye?

Krumm: The black and white one. Do you have it?

[Everyone started looking for the eye. Krumm checked under the penguins. Ickis poked one of them with his claws making them jump.]

Oblina: I'm sorry, I know this seems like A terrible invasion of your privacy...

[Krumm found his eye under the penguin.]

Krumm: You're a sight for a sore eye.

Ickis: Watch it, you whatever you are.

[All the penguins are chasing the monsters.]

Ickis: Wait for me!

[Krumm and Oblina saw the crack.]

Ickis: Help me!

Oblina: Krumm, grab my feet!

Ickis: OBLINA!


Krumm: I am starving.

Ickis: If I had toes, I wouldn't be able to feel them.

Oblina: My lips are chapped.

Ickis: Can we go home now?

Oblina: No, no, no. Not until we get our scare.

Ickis: You just go without me. Because I just found a way out of here. I'll see you back at the dump, suckers!

Oblina: Ickis, wait! That is not a-

[Too late. Ickis jumps into the hole.]

Obina: ....toilet.

[They pulled Ickis out of the ice hole, completely frozen in a ice cube.]

Ickis: [frozen] That wasn't a toilet.

Lars: On Killer, on Butcher! On Sebastion! On Tracy! Mush!

Oblina: Krumm. Follow that human.

Lars: Mush, mush!


Ickis: [shivering] This have been the w-worst experience of my life. And that says a lot.

Krumm: It's about to get even worse.

[A polar bear growls.]

Ickis: They come in white too.

Krumm: Don't panic! Get behind me! Now we can panic.

Oblina: Paddle! Paddle, you fools! Now how we ever get out scare?

Both: Don't even say it.

Oblina: Oh alright.

[The sun is melting the ice.]

Ickis: I guess this is it. The end. But you know what? I had full life. Oh, sure, It was a short one. Really short. Come to think of it. I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! I DON'T WANNA DIE!

Oblina: Land!

Ickis: We're saved!

Both: We're saved!

Ickis: Solid ground! I love you, I love you! [gets his lips stuck.] Ow.

Oblina: Now we shall never get our scare. There he is!

Krumm: And there he goes.

[The ice cap they are on started to move and rise. Ickis, Oblina and Krumm began to fall. Just as they were about to hit the water, a massive hand caught them. The three monsters huddle up, shivering.]

Glacier Monster: Hello. So nice to see you.

Ickis: It speaks.

Krumm: It's huge.

Oblina: It's a monster.

Glacier Monster: That's right. Now if you excuse me, I have a scare do to.

Oblina: Stop right there.

Ickis: Don't make it mad.

Oblina: You see this scare is mine.

Ickis: She's not well, don't listen to her.

Oblina: No! You shall listen to me! You have no idea What we have

been through

Ickis: She's not well. Don't listen to her!

Oblina: We are lost, we are freezing.

Krumm: We are hungry.

Oblina: And we are tired. And that human is ours. Do you understand? That is our scare!

Glacier Monster: I'm sorry. It's just that... I don't get many scares down here. I'm lucky if a human comes down here once a year.

Oblina: Yes. Mmhmm..

Lars: Thank you, thank you. Thank you, thank you... Ladies and gentlemen of the press. Once again, lars halverson Has broken the boundaries of human endurance. I have stared fear straight into the face And you know what I said? I said, "fear... "There's no room for you in my life. "Take a hike, fear. Vamoose!"


Glacier Monster: This pipeline will take you back to where you want to go.

Ickis: Thanks for the ride.

Krumm: Yeah, thanks.

Oblina: Thank you. Congratulations on your lovely scare.

Ickis: You know When we get back We're going to be in a lot of trouble.

Krumm: Yeah, but at least we'll be warm.

Lars: Monsters... Real monsters. Real monsters. Real monsters.

Oblina: Forget it. It would be too easy.