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[episode starts]
Reporter: Lars halverson... You've scaled mt. Everest, swam the english channel And circumnavigated the globe in a plane made out of tin foil. What is your next adventure?
Lars: Today, I announce the I go to the southern park of the world and cross Antarctica. Alone.
Reporter: Aren't you afraid?
Lars: Fear? It's unknown to lars halverson. I am afraid of nothing. [ Quietly]: except commitment.
Man: I hear ya.
The Gromble: A human afraid of nothing? Nothing puckers my PUTRID PUSS MORE than seeing a pathetic human claiming he's not afraid? I want that human to know fear.
Ickis: Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bathtub.
The Gromble: Something you want to share with the class, ICKIS?!
Ickis: [Whimpers] I was just... I was just...
Oblina: Well said.
The Gromble: Oblina, perhaps you like to speak before Ickis.
Oblina: Me? I uh, uh uh... I, I, I...
The Gromble: SILENCE!
Krumm: I think what my friends are trying to say is-
The Gromble: QUIET!
[All the scientists are studying him.]
Lars: It's time.
Ickis: Oh, well, he's not here, let's go.
Oblina: There he is. The fearless lars halverson. This is going to be our greatest scare yet. On three. One, two, three.
Lars: Here, k*ller, here, butcher. Here, assassin.
All: Bark and bites!
Krumm: I smell trouble.
[???]
Krumm: I smell trouble.
[The husky dogs are barking.]
Krumm: I smell trouble.
Ickis: Would you stop saying that?
Lars: It's colder than I thought. It's isolated. One wrong move and I could freeze to death. I love my job. You want a little beef jerky?
Krumm: That's what that was.
[The husky dogs are barking, chasing the monsters.]
Lars: Get back here!
Ickis: Uh... Excuse me. What are you doing?
Oblina: I am turning around.
Ickis: Turning around? We don't want to go that way! We want to go home.
Oblina: We came here to get a scare and that is exactly what we are going to do.
Ickis: We're doomed.
Oblina: Oh poo. He's gone.
Ickis: Oh, what a shame.
Lars: Mush, mush!
Oblina: Follow me! We will cut him off to the pass.
Lars: Mush, mush!
[The cliff they had been standing on breaks and all three monsters landed in the snow and the avalanche covered them. After a moment, Ickis popped out of the snow and brush the snow out of his ears. Oblina popped up and spat out a chunk full of snow. Krumm popped out last with his other eye missing. A penguin takes the eye away.]
Krumm: Hey! He stole my eye!
[The other monsters begin to chase after the penguin.]
Oblina: Which one was it, Krumm? Which one stole your eye?
Krumm: The black and white one. Do you have it?
[Everyone started looking for the eye. Krumm checked under the penguins. Ickis poked one of them with his claws making them jump.]
Oblina: I'm sorry, I know this seems like A terrible invasion of your privacy...
[Krumm found his eye under the penguin.]
Krumm: You're a sight for a sore eye.
Ickis: Watch it, you whatever you are.
[All the penguins are chasing the monsters.]
Ickis: Wait for me!
[Krumm and Oblina saw the crack.]
Ickis: Help me!
Oblina: Krumm, grab my feet!
Ickis: OBLINA!
[???]
Krumm: I am starving.
Ickis: If I had toes, I wouldn't be able to feel them.
Oblina: My lips are chapped.
Ickis: Can we go home now?
Oblina: No, no, no. Not until we get our scare.
Ickis: You just go without me. Because I just found a way out of here. I'll see you back at the dump, suckers!
Oblina: Ickis, wait! That is not a-
[Too late. Ickis jumps into the hole.]
Obina: ....toilet.
[They pulled Ickis out of the ice hole, completely frozen in a ice cube.]
Ickis: [frozen] That wasn't a toilet.
Lars: On Killer, on Butcher! On Sebastion! On Tracy! Mush!
Oblina: Krumm. Follow that human.
Lars: Mush, mush!
[???]
Ickis: [shivering] This have been the w-worst experience of my life. And that says a lot.
Krumm: It's about to get even worse.
[A polar bear growls.]
Ickis: They come in white too.
Krumm: Don't panic! Get behind me! Now we can panic.
Oblina: Paddle! Paddle, you fools! Now how we ever get out scare?
Both: Don't even say it.
Oblina: Oh alright.
[The sun is melting the ice.]
Ickis: I guess this is it. The end. But you know what? I had full life. Oh, sure, It was a short one. Really short. Come to think of it. I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! I DON'T WANNA DIE!
Oblina: Land!
Ickis: We're saved!
Both: We're saved!
Ickis: Solid ground! I love you, I love you! [gets his lips stuck.] Ow.
Oblina: Now we shall never get our scare. There he is!
Krumm: And there he goes.
[The ice cap they are on started to move and rise. Ickis, Oblina and Krumm began to fall. Just as they were about to hit the water, a massive hand caught them. The three monsters huddle up, shivering.]
Glacier Monster: Hello. So nice to see you.
Ickis: It speaks.
Krumm: It's huge.
Oblina: It's a monster.
Glacier Monster: That's right. Now if you excuse me, I have a scare do to.
Oblina: Stop right there.
Ickis: Don't make it mad.
Oblina: You see this scare is mine.
Ickis: She's not well, don't listen to her.
Oblina: No! You shall listen to me! You have no idea What we have
been through
Ickis: She's not well. Don't listen to her!
Oblina: We are lost, we are freezing.
Krumm: We are hungry.
Oblina: And we are tired. And that human is ours. Do you understand? That is our scare!
Glacier Monster: I'm sorry. It's just that... I don't get many scares down here. I'm lucky if a human comes down here once a year.
Oblina: Yes. Mmhmm..
Lars: Thank you, thank you. Thank you, thank you... Ladies and gentlemen of the press. Once again, lars halverson Has broken the boundaries of human endurance. I have stared fear straight into the face And you know what I said? I said, "fear... "There's no room for you in my life. "Take a hike, fear. Vamoose!"
[???]
Glacier Monster: This pipeline will take you back to where you want to go.
Ickis: Thanks for the ride.
Krumm: Yeah, thanks.
Oblina: Thank you. Congratulations on your lovely scare.
Ickis: You know When we get back We're going to be in a lot of trouble.
Krumm: Yeah, but at least we'll be warm.
Lars: Monsters... Real monsters. Real monsters. Real monsters.
Oblina: Forget it. It would be too easy.
[???]