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— This is a transcribed copy of Gromble Soup. —
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[episode starts]

Gromble: As you can see I'm a bit under the weather. But I'm not going to let a little cold [Hacking] Deprive you of your... [Sneezing] exams.

[Gromble sneezes]

Ickis: All this and exams, too.

Oblina: Ickis, could you not see that the Gromble is not himself?

Gromble: Master Ickis. Can you please distribute the exams? [Sneezes again. And then falls down unconscious.] Class dismissed.


Simpah: Students. Students. SILENCE!


Simpah: There, that's better. For those of you misbehaving monsters who don't know, my name is Simpah. I'm the cook here at the academy. Year after year I've stood behind the garbage trays Dodging your food fights, cleaning your messes... And listening to you complain about the garbage I prepare. Now, the Gromble has left me in charge. And have I got plans for you!


Oblina: Uh, I do not think I can take much more Of this sickly sweet odor.

Krumm: This sugar is making my eyes water.

Ickis: I wonder what Simpah's gonna do with all this stuff?


Simpah: Is there something wrong with your cupcakes? Please, dig in. If there's a problem, GO COMPLAIN TO THE CLOCK! HA! HA!


Oblina: Oh poo.

Simpah: I know what you must be thinking. Today was a tasty delight. Well, good. Because tomorrow Tomorrow is the piece de resistance-- Chocolate truffles!

Ickis: We've got to get the Gromble cured! Fast.

[Meanwhile, at the Gromble's Dorm.]

Gromble: I'm touched that you miss me. But don't worry, I'll be fine in a few days. [ Coughing] Or weeks.

Krumm: Weeks? There must be something.

Gromble: My dear old grandmother's remedy. She affectionately called it "Gromble Soup" But that was long ago. The ingredients are from medieval times And impossible to find. [Snorts] Now, if you don't mind...

Oblina: Impossible. Impossible. A monster does not know The meaning of the word "impossible." Gromble, sir, if there is one thing you have taught us It is that a monster never gives up. Never say die.

Gromble: Never say die.

Oblina: Alright. "mix the following ingredients Into a simmering pot of sludge stock." Ooh, skanky. "One king's crown, the head of a dragon and the tail of an ogre." Oh, dear. Well, let's not waste any more time, shall we? I will look for the king. Krummy, you track down the dragon. Ickis, you find the ogre.

Ickis: What's an ogre?

Oblina: "A mean, nasty creature Usually found in the dungeon of castles."

Ickis: Why do I get the ogre?

Krumm: You want the dragon?

Ickis: Never say die, right?


Ickis: Die, die, die. No ogres or castles in this town.

Krumm: No dragons either. I give up.

Oblina: Quitters! Giver-uppers! Can not do as... Go ahead. Go, walk away. But the answer to our problems could be Right around that corner.

Man: Stu Simmons here. Live from pass football stadium Where the middletown canaries Take on the Ardenville dragons.

Krumm: Dragons?

Man: This showdown sponsored by Marty the mattress king. Located at the corner of cheatem and fleece Across the street from red castle hamburgers.


Marty: Marty the mattress king here. You say you want to sleep like a king? You can break into buckingham palace Or come on down to Marty's. You like them firm? We got'em firm. You like them soft? Show them, augie.


Man: Oh! Hey, joe! There's a rat in the machine.

Joe: That's okay, rats are meat.

Man: They are, aren't they?

Ickis: Who are you calling a rat?


Ickis: The ogre.

Man: And now, ladies and gentlemen To keep our spirits high How about a hand for the dancing dragon.


Marty: You'll feel like a king, too Once you've slept on one of Marty's mattresses.

Director: And cut!

Marty: Show's over. Let's move some mattresses. Hey, where's my crown?


Ickis: Ah! His tail!

Janitor: I hear you. I know you're here.


Janitor: Hey, Herbert, where you been?


Oblina: Well, we cannot very well make the soup With only two ingredients. Where is Ickis?

Gromble: [coughs] It doesn't matter if Ickis returns with a tail, you taught me a valuable lesson [coughs]

[Ickis finally arrives back at the Gromble's dorm with the feather duster behind his back.]

Ickis: Success!

Oblina: Ickis, you've found the ogre's tail?

Ickis: Have it Need I remind you, a monster never gives up. Feast your eyes on this.

Oblina: Ickis. That is a feather duster bunny boy!

Ickis: That is right, stick woman! A feather dust- (he finally realizes), feather duster?

Krumm: Tough break, buddy.

Ickis: But he was an ogre. I mean, he was in the dungeon of the castle And everything.

Gromble: An ogre is only sometimes found... [Sneezing] castles. The main thing to remember is That they are mean. They're nasty...

Simpah: There you are! [Sweetly]: get your rancid little rumps Into the cafeteria right away. The truffles are ready!

Gromble: They're wretched creatures.

Ickis: Excuse me. Pardon me. (Ickis then rips Simpah's tail off her back.) SOUPS ON!

Simpah: Look what you did to my tail!


Gromble: Enough! I know what he did. And I'll see what he get what he deserves. And he deserves... my thanks.


Ickis: Good to have you back, Grombie.

Oblina: Lovely.

Gromble: Not so fast! You just had the whole day off. And now, I am now back to my giddy self, I can't wait to get back into my classroom and teach, teach, teach. And I trust you all to be there.

Ickis: All of a sudden, these truffles are kind of tasty.

[The door closes, ending the episode.]