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Transcript
— This is a transcribed copy of Hats Off. —
Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "The Rival" Next: "O'Lucky Monster"

[episode starts]

Krumm: Well, that was easy.

Announcer: ladies and gentlemen, lapin perdido! now, with the help Of the beautiful tiffany...

Oblina: Ickis, your fascination with humans is embarrassing. I swear, you are going to rot your brain.

Ickis: They love this guy.

Krumm: They're humans. They love television.

Oblina: Ickis, we should be going.

[???]

Ickis: It's not the human, it's the hat.

Oblina: It's a bowa, that's what it is.

Ickis: Sure, that's what you think Miss "everybody's favorite monster." Me? ( Giggling ) I can tell you this: whatever I am If I had a hat like that I'd be the one everybody would love.

Oblina: Ickis, we are leaving..

[???]

Krumm: Oblina, maybe we should go back.

Oblina: Nonsense, Krumm. People-watching is a nasty habit. I will do nothing to encourage it.

Ickis: Hi guys.

Oblina: Ickis, I cannot believe you stole that human's hat.

Ickis: I did not steal it. When he wasn't looking I grabbed it and ran.

[Ickis puts the hat on Krumm.]

Krumm: Do I look human?

Oblina: You look ridiculous.

Krumm: Same thing.

Ickis: Wait till I pull stuff out of it.

Krumm: You'll pull stuff out of the hat?

Ickis: And make thigns disappear.

Krumm: Wow, I love to see that.

Ickis: Everybody's gonna love me when they see what I can do.

Oblina: Ickis, really.

Monster: You got me out of bed for this?

Ickis: No. You are here to see magic. And now, with the help Of my beautiful assistant, tiffany... Without the help of my beautiful assistant, tiffany I present feats unseen In the monster world.

Hairyette: This is dumb.

Ickis: No It's magic. And only I control it. Only I can reach into this seemingly empty hat And pull out... My hand!

Hairyette: Thank you, Ickis for a fundamental waste of time.

Monster: I'm going back to bed.

Krumm: Forget about it, buddy.

Ickis: Good night, guys.

[???]

Ickis: Look at me! Look at me! I can fly! Who am I talking to? Who cares? I can fly! I think that must be a mistake. I wanna go home!

[???]

Ickis: Hello? Is some one there? Before you come any closer, you should know ( Voice cracking ): that I am not scared of you. I'm a big scary monster? With big sharp teeth. See?

[???]

Ickis: For me? Well alright. What is it? Come back! OBLINAAA HEEELP MEEE!

[???]

Ickis: Okay.

Tiffany: Hi. [Ickis yelps] what is it?

Ickis: What happened to you?

Tiffany: I lost my legs. You haven't seen a pair kicking around, have you?

Ickis: Oh yeah they went that way.

Tiffany: Thanks. If I keep walking on my hands I'll break a nail.

Ickis: Be careful. There's a really big striped cat out there That is really unhappy.

Tiffany: That's Mittens. The bunnies have been waiting for you to get rid of him.

Ickis: Me?! But but why me?

Tiffany: Aren't you the bunny king?

Ickis: Bunny King? What made you think that... that I was the bunny king? UGH! that bully!!!

Tiffany: You got to do something.

Ickis: Of course I got to do something I'm the bunny king! Okay everyone places!

[???]

Ickis: Good catch. Friends, rabbits, uh... And assorted body parts. Lend me your ears. Today you are free. Free to live your lives without fear. all right! So, each of you hop Where you want to hop. Be all you can be. Now I got to go home, bye.

Tiffany: You can't. you're the bunny king.

Ickis: But my friends...

Tiffany: No buts!

Ickis: I wanna go home!

Krumm: Oblina wake up. Ickis is in trouble.

Ickis: You don't understand!I'm not a king! I'm just a little monster!

Tiffany: But they all love you. Isn't that what you want? Love! Love! They love you!

Announcer: ladies and gentlemen The man, the music, the magic-- Lapin perdido!

Ickis: No, It's too much!

Tiffany: Here is your king over here.

Man: I found this in a taxi.

Magician: My hat, it has to be my hat. A black top hat.

Man: Just start the show I'll find it.

Ickis: You don't understand. I don't want to be king. I wanna be Ickis.

Tiffany: But they all love you.

Magician: Andrew.. my music.

Ickis: I don't care.. I just want to go home. I wanna go home.

[???]

Oblina: Finally, Ickis you are awake.

Ickis: Awake? Was I... Where's the hat?

Oblina: I took that wretched thing back. Stealing, ickis, honestly.

Ickis: Oh.. OH! I had this dream! I fell down this hat full of bunnies and I- I- I......

Krumm: They made you king?

Ickis: Yes. they made me king. How did you know?

Krumm: I ate a book on dreams once. Come on, we're gonna be ate for class.

Ickis: Oh oh...*laughs* Thank goodness! *laughs again* It just seemed so...real!

[???]

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