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[episode starts]
Gromble: Today class, I have a special treat for you. Yes. We're going to study history! [Monsters groan] WHAT IS IT WITH YOU MONSTERS TODAY?! Do you think history starts at the moment you were born.
Ickis: I thought history started when he was born.
Gromble: You know those who ignore the past are condemned to repeat it. And those who don't pay attention to this film will repeat this class!
[The Library Monster is seen walking into the viewfinder and sits on it to start the video.]
Gromble: Roll it, please.
[Video starts at the cave man ages.]
Gromble: Our earliest ancestor are the primitive beings. These cave monsters did not have the luxuries we have today. No toilets, little garbage, and very few humans. Sometimes, they were force to scare the same human over and over again.
[A monster scares a cave men four times.]
Gromble: Fortunately for us, human brains are not highly developed. Of course, they haven't improved too much since, either. In fact, humans could not progress very far without monsters.
Ickis: This is very interesting. [yawns] But what is it got to do with us?
Gromble: Well let's see. How about, EVERYTHING!? Many of your ancestors were responsible for changing the way we live today.
[Clip starts in Greece.]
Gromble: This was the area of the human Roman empire. While they were busy with world conquest and law, we focused on much more important matters. Such as sewers. Leaky, it was your great-grandfather, Leakekos, who first mapped out the sewer system. So you see, sewage is in your blood. Leakekos made it possible for monsters to travel anywhere in the human world at will. Yes, during this time, monsters refined their scaring techniques. Laying foundation for future generations of monsters.
Oblina: Ohh, my great auntie Florina.
Krumm: Hey Gromble, did my ancestors do anything famous?
Gromble: Later Krumm, later. The fall of Roman ushed in the greatest area of monsterdom. The Fall of Rome ushered in the greatest era of monsterdom. What the humans call the Dark Ages, we call the Age of Enfrightenment!
[Clip was change into the medieval ages.]
Pheasant: Rags! Human ear! Get your filthy rags and dandruff by the pound right here! Fifty percent off! Mix 'em and match 'em! Eh... oh, I hates the Middle Ages.
Gromble: The streets were dirty and filled with garbage. Rats were pentifull. Humans lived in squalor and rarely bathed! Those were the days. Those were also the days with great monsters. The monsters of the round cesspool.
Monster: You monsters have been chosen to sit here-- [snort]-- because of your rudeness, your extreme ugliness-- [snort]-- your complete lack of chivalry. [hocks] You are the finest examples of monsterdom, and our great credo-- [snort]-- "Fright makes right."
Gromble: They struck fear into the hearts of humans everywhere. But the time had come for monsters to conquer a new world. Now you see, humans still believed back then that the Earth... was flat! I knew it's hard to believe. Yet there was one human who thought the way we did, and where he went, our monsters followed.
Man: Christopher! Why don't we go home, huh? We no see land for weeks and weeks. We sail around and around like a pizza.
Christopher: Don't say pizza I am so hungry. You're right. let's go home.
Man: Alright, turn it around boys we going back to Spain. Hey Christopher, there something coming this way.
Christopher: Ahh, you got-a scurvy in the head. Quick, go back! Go back!
Gromble: And that's how we discovered America. A new land filled with superstitious people ready for scaring. Unfortunately, they were often unclearabout who or what was scaring them.
Man: And so it was then that you say the witch was it not?
Woman: No. No, it was a monster. It had six arms, a tail and three eyes.
Man: You mean, you saw the demon that the witch turn herself into.
Woman: No! It was a monster.
Man: You mean witch!
Woman: Okay, okay! It was a witch.
[Nearby a monster who was watching laughs.]
Ickis: Excuse me, your grombleness, but what about my father?
Gromble: Oh, Ickis, we all know how great your father Slickis was. No doubt because he was taught by a great teacher. Me!
[The next clip changes to the revolutionary timeline.]
Krumm: Hey, that's my dad when he had both eyes.
Slickis: Hey, Horvak. I hear our new teacher's a real pushover.
Horvak: Great. I can use those sleep.
Gromble: Uh class, class. Could you please come to order, please?
[???]
Ickis: That's the Gromble?
Gromble: Class, Class? Yoo hoo! QUIET!
Ickis: [Worried] Now that's the Gromble.
Gromble: Ickis, your father was involved in some of the famous scares in America's history.
Man: Alright, now then what do we do with all this British tea?
[There, Slickis scared the man. The man throw the box into the ocean.]
Man: Great idea.
[And that is how the Boston Tea Party came to be. From the next year Slickis scared a American soldier.]
Man: The monsters are coming! The monsters are coming!
Woman: The monsters are coming? Oh yes, the British are monsters of course.
Man: Oh no!
Woman: The British are coming! The British are coming!
[the next clip showed the people holding the Liberty Bell. Slicks scared them, causing the bell to break. Everyone was surprised at this.]
Humans: Uh oh..
Man: Maybe no one will notice.
Ickis: My dad broke the Liberty bell.
Krumm: My dad never break anything important.
Gromble: Yes he did. my will to live. Well, actually, Krumm, just before your father flunked-- [clears throat] --left school prematurely, he did do one thing that will never be forgotten. He helped launch the American Revolution and the shot heard round the world.
Man: Captain Parker, I order you and your man to dispose at once, by order of the King of England.
Parker: Right. You and what army pal?
Man: The British army.
Parker: Oh.
Horvak: NO!
[Bang! The students duck just as the man shot the eyeball. They peeked though after that.]
Krumm: That's gotta hurt.
Gromble: Yes. but not as much as the F's he got every semester. But now we enter the Industrial era. Railroads multiplied everywhere. Great factories sprang up, belching thick, noxious fumes into the air. Life-giving smog that nurtured a whole new generation of monsters. And inspired some of the greatest scares in monster history.
Alexander Bell: Hello Watson. Hello testing testing Watson, Watson, come here. I need you!
Watson: Hold on a second, I got another call.
[???]
Franklin: The only thing we have to fear is.. really scary stuff not's it. things that are frightening, wife Elanor. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
[???]
Gromble: Well, I hope this little lesson has open your eyes to the importance of understand your heritage as monsters. Perhaps it will inspire you to scale the heights of monsterdom. To scare the impossible scare! Thank you.
[Everyone cheers. We cut back to the dorm room.]
Oblina: What an inspiring presentation that was.
Krumm: Informative yet entertaining.
Oblina: Icky, your father was so gruel.
Ickis: Yeah I guess he was.
Krumm: I wonder if we ever do anything this great as the old monsters of the past?
[???]
Man: Mission control, this is Major Tom. We're currently orbiting Saturn at a cruising speed of one-quarter impulse power. We have no unusual sightings at this time.