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Gromble: Class, I'm very pleased to announce we have a special guest today. He's a legend in the scaring world, a monster for all ages. In fact, you might say he's been a hero to me. Class, it is with great pleasure that I give you the Loch Ness Monster! Thank you for coming, Mr. Loch Ness. I mean, your Lochness. I mean, Loch and Load. Your Locksmith. I don't know what I mean.

Lochie: Nah, just call me Lochie. Let me tell you, it's great to be here.

Gromble: It's great to have you here.

Ickis: Wow, oh, he's my hero! I carry his card with me all the time.

Lochie: How are you, wee monster kiddies? I'll be starting my little lecture with one of my favorite scares. It's how I scared the old Viking known as Erik the Red. Except when I finished with him, he was Erik the Yellow.

The Gromble: Erik the Yellow, yes, I get it.

Ickis: Mr. Ness, can I have your autograph?

Lochie: Glad to, you wee monster moppet. That's what happens when I get to spinning me "tails".

Gromble: Oops, class, we must forgive Lochie. He's had a long voyage and still has his sea legs. Uh, fins.

Lochie: Aye, it has been a long trip. I've got to get a grip on meself.

Gromble: Ooh, then you must stay and rest... in my room, as my guest.

Lochie: Oh, Grombie, I'm touched, but I couldn't be imposing on you.

Gromble: Oh, please. It would be such an honor. Please stay, won't you?

Lochie: Oh, well, if you insist, I'll stay!

Gromble: That's-- oh! Wonderful.

Loch Ness: Hey, Grombie! Me bags are here!

Gromble: So I gather.

Lochie: There. Nothing like a touch of home.

Gromble: Yes, my words exactly. Well, I've got some papers to grade.

Lochie: Oh, nonsense, Grombie. I'm ready for a little fun. Let's go scaring!

Gromble: Oh, I-- I would be honored, but I--

Lochie: Great! That's the spirit, matey!


Gromble: Well, Lochie, this has been a truly wonderful evening, but we should really be getting back to the dump.

Lochie: Oh, come on, Grombie, where's your spunk? There's plenty more scaring to do!

Gromble: More scaring. Well, count me... in.


Gromble: In conclusion, I just want to say, class... Class dismissed!

Oblina: Excuse me, your Grombleness?

Gromble: What-- who? You wish to speak to me?

Oblina: Um, yes, sir, um, uh, are you all right?

Gromble: I'm fine, fine. Never felt better, fine.

Oblina: Oh. Poor Gromble. Having to put up with that overbearing, rude monster all night.

Gromble: How dare you. You insult the Loch Ness Monster. He's a hero! He's the greatest scarer of all time! He can do no wrong!

[bagpipes playing]

Lochie: Hello! It is a glorious day! You know what I feel like doing on a day like this?

Gromble: Sleeping?

Lochie: Singing!

♪ Oh, the first thing

I like about the sea ♪

♪ Is it's the only place

where I can be me ♪

♪ I can scare anywhere I go

as long as I've got H O ♪

♪ That's the first thing

I like about the sea ♪

♪ Oh, the second thing

I like about the sea-- ♪


Lochie: Oh, Grombie. You know, you ought to get that thing fixed.

Gromble: You're in a good mood today.

Lochie: That's because I've got great news! You've made me feel so welcome, Grombie, that I've cancelled my lecture tour and decided to stay here forever!

Gromble: S-stay for-forever?

Lochie: Now we'll be together always, Grombie! Isn't that great?

Gromble: Wonderful.


Gromble: It gives me great pleasure to present, for his fifth lecture, the Loch Ness Monster.


Gromble: It gives me great pleasure to present, for his 13th lecture, the Loch Ness Monster.


Gromble: It gives me the platest greasure to present, for his fifty furnt lecture, the Loch-- oh, you know.


Loch Ness: Oh, well, time to go to bed. bomb away!

[He leaps into the water.]

Lochie: Grombie, you look like a week-old haddock!

Gromble: Yes, haddock.

(We cut to the Gromble, running and screaming in anger from his room.)


Ickis: What did I do? What did I do?

Gromble: Not you! Him! That Scottish maniac have gotten too far! He's covering my room with plaid! He wants to go scare every night and days! If I hear one more squeak out of those bagpipes, I'm going to rip my ears off! He's driving me crazy, you know?

Oblina: Well, why didn't you tell anyone he was annoying you?

Gromble: I couldn't. He's a hero, a legend, the greatest scarer of all time! I didn't want to ruin that image for you!

Ickis: Yeah, but everyone knows he's annoying.

Gromble: You do?

Krumm: Uh-huh. You know that the Loch Ness Monster is a hero for his scares, not his personality. I mean, he is a hero at faults.

Ickis: Oh. Except for you, sir, of course, your, you, hahaha, your Grombleness.

Gromble: I do have a fault. I'M TOO NICE! What should I do? If he stays, I'll go mad. But I can't tell him to leave, that'll be cruel.

Oblina: Perhaps we can make him leave by being nice to him.

(Gromble, Krumm and Ickis stares at Oblina)

Oblina: Allow me to explain.

[Cut to the Gromble's room where the Loch Ness Monster is sleeping, but the Gromble wakes him up]

Gromble: Lochie, sorry to disturb you, but Ickis here would love to learn your Scottish song. Isn't that right?

Ickis: Oh, yeah! Why, yes, Mr. Loch Ness. I would love to learn your Scottish song.

Lochie: Well, all right. Sing along now, Laddie.

Ickis: Here goes.


♪ Oh, the first thing

♪ I like about the sea...


♪ Is it's the only place

where I can be me ♪

♪ I can scare in sunken caves,

yes, I'm really making waves ♪

♪ That's the nd thing

I like about the sea ♪

Lochie: All right, I think you've got it.

Oblina: Yoo-hoo, Mr. Loch Ness? I too would love to learn your Scottish song.

Lochie: I'm not one to disappoint the lassies. All right, let's begin.


♪ Oh, the first thing

♪ I like about the sea

♪ Is it's the only place

where I can be me ♪

♪ I can scare anywhere I go,

as long as I've got H O ♪

♪ That's the first thing

I like about the sea ♪

♪ I can scare

in the coral reef ♪

♪ And really give

the humans grief ♪

♪ And that's the th thing

I like about the sea ♪♪

Lochie: Let me guess. You want to learn my song, right?

Krumm: Um, no, Mr. Loch Ness, but it would be an honor to go scaring with you.

Lochie: Scaring? Well, I'm tired.

Gromble: Lochie, Master Ickis would like to learn how to jig.

Lochie: Jig? Oh, sure, Jig. No problem.


[music slows]

Gromble: Lochie, look at the time. It's time for your lecture. Class, it is with greatest pleasure that I present for his 22nd lecture, the Loch Ness Monster.

Lochie: Grombie, Grombie, my wee Grombie, bad news. I've just remembered I left me shower on back in Scotland. I must be getting back.

Gromble: But Lochie, the students were going to ask you to lead their monster choir.

Lochie: Oh, thanks, but no thanks.

Gromble: But what about the round the clock scare-athon tomorrow? You don't want to miss that.

Lochie: Get me out of here!

Gromble: Now, class, I hope we've all found a lesson in--


Neck: Couldn't shut up, could ya? Well, next time, I do the talking! Okay?