Aaahh!!! Real Monsters Wiki
Advertisement
— This is a transcribed copy of Monster Hunter. —
Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Krumm's Pimple" Next: "Monsters Don't Dance"

[The episode starts at the courthouse where a young man named Simon D Hunter is presenting his project.]

Simon Hunter: After years of research, strenuous field work, and ordering stuff from catalogs, I'm happy to report that you're generous grand money has finally paid off. I have found proof that monsters really do exist. And so without further or do I present. [takes out a bitten can.]

Dean: And you say these are?

Simon: Teeth marks. Yes, yes. Exactly. They eat these things. [Holds up a map] I found it near the dump.

Dean: You mean, just like the, erm, produce?

Simon: The cucumbers was slimed yes. I found those by the dump also.

[Everyone started laughing until they calm down.]

Dean: You said you bring us proof. This isn't proof, this is leftovers. As a respected university, we require scientific evidence, find us prove or we'll cut off your funding.

Simon: Well, I can thank you gentleman for a wonderful lunch, I'll do my best to honor the grant and the scientific requirement.

[Simon is then seen walking outside and throws the tin can near the gutter and drives away in a car}

Simon: Proof? Oh, proof? They want proof! If it's that easy, like monsters just sit around behind parked cars waiting to be discovered.

[The car splashes Krumm in the gutter]

Oblina: Okay, any ideas for this scare?

Ickis: You could do your rope trick.

Krumm: Why it never works.

Oblina: It does to work! I'm just saving it for that special occasion.

Krumm: Yeah, for that special occasion when it works. [Chuckles]

[Scene changes to a launderette where Dishwasher is putting clothes in a washing machine including his own shirt, the monsters are hiding in a laundry basket and Krumm rubs a pair of socks on his armpits making them really smelly, Dishwasher picks up the socks and smells them and makes a disgusted face, he then picks up the soap powder and pours it into the washing machine where Oblina pops out of it and scares Dishwasher and Ickis foot trips Dishwasher causing him to fall over where Krumm then armpit sprays him and Dishwasher runs away.]

All: Alright!

[Scene changes to a private property house where Simon approaches a safe door]

Simon: Simon says open up. Hm, Still closed. No, Nonononono! You, stupid, Stupid! Open! Open! Open! Open! [Kicks the safe door down]

[Later on, Simon is in a workshop putting together a device]

Simon: Okay, do it for me, baby. Do it. Simon says close. They'll never doubt me again.

[Scene changes to outside the dump, Simon is hiding inside the dump among some rubbish bags.}

Simon: Wednesday, north, 300 hours. It's been quiet so far. Too quiet if you ask me. Hey, keep it down!

Oblina: I need a snack. Terror always makes me so hungry.

Ickis: Last week's delivery was pretty good.

Krumm: Yeah. It's molding up real nice.

Simon: Yes. At last... [A dumper truck gets in Simon's way] Hey, you're in my way. I said move it! [Simon kicks the dumper truck and starts moving backwards]

Oblina: Oh, don't mind if I do.

Simon: Simon says closed! [Oblina gets closed up inside the box] I got it! I got it! I got my monster! Oh, what joy! Oh, what happiness! Note myself I'm good, I'm good, It's in there alright. I can hear it. Wait until those pinheads in the board see this. They'll throw the bank wide open! [The box flies out of Simon's hands and opens freeing Oblina and jumps down a sewer and Simon gets stuck in it] Note to myself: don't panic. [The dumper truck nearly runs Simon over, but frees himself just in time.]

[Scene changes to the monster's room]

Oblina: And then I slid down a hole you know the one by the fish heads.

Ickis: Wow, this sounds bad. Somebody should wake the Gromble.

Krumm: Bad idea.

Oblina: I'm a bit drastic don't you think?

Ickis: Yeah, you're right.

Oblina: Let's look at the manual. 'In case of monster hunter, wake the Gromble...'

[The Gromble is sleeping in a bathtub]

Gromble: [Snoring] Chequers [Snoring]

Krumm: Er, Gromble? Your worshipfulness?

Oblina: Go ahead. Wake him.

[Krumm attempts to wake the Gromble up again and then the Gromble grabs Krumm like a teddy bear and then smells Krumm's armpit hair.]

Gromble: [waking up] What is the meaning of this?

Oblina: There's a monster hunter in the dump. And we thought you would like to know about it.

Gormble: You ruined the perfectly good nightmare for this?

Ickis: But, but majestic one, it's a monster hunter as in one who hunts monsters?

Gromble: There is no monster hunter, not in this sector I cleaned them out years ago.

Oblina: But you're Grombleness-

Gromble: Are you doubting me!?

Monsters: No.

Oblina: It's just that...

Gromble: Yes?

Oblina: I saw him, he captured me in a box and-

Gromble: SILENCE! Then I guess you'll just have to show me this monster hunter that DOESN'T EXIST! [Kicks door down] OK, where is he?

Oblina: He was right over there.

Gromble: I don't see anything. Maybe he's hiding, BUT I DOUBT IT! [Closes the door]

[Simon is searching for the monsters, the monsters hide from him.}

Krumm: This is dumb.

Oblina: Shh!

Krumm: The Gromble's right, there's nothing here. I'm going to sleep.

Ickis: Yeah, me too.

Oblina: But what about the Monster hunter?

Krumm: He can go to sleep too [Chuckles and throws a garbage can lid like a frisbee and Ickis catches it and throws it back to Krumm]

Oblina: I did not imagine him!

Krumm: Go find us some proof. [Chucks the garbage can lid at Ickis again and catches it]

Ickis: Yeah, find us proof.

[Simon grows suspicious and continues hunting, the monsters all try to hide from him and Oblina scares herself into a mirror thinking it is him, Simon and Oblina eventually bump into each other and Simon chases her as Oblina runs away from him and Simon shoots a web at her and Oblina hides in a drawer and when Simon opens it Oblina is nowhere to be seen and Simon shouts.]

Oblina: I am telling you, I was extremely lucky to escape.

[Ickis pulls up the mattress and squeals. It startles Oblina.]

Oblina: What, what?

Ickis: I thought I saw your monster hunter. [Laughs]

Oblina: I do not find this amusing.

Ickis: Gee Krumm, I am hungry. Let us go over to the canned goods. Oh, wait what about the monster hunter?

Krumm: I'm hungry, too! Whatever shall we do!

[They both laugh wickedly.]

Oblina: FINE! [sadly] You two just have a good laugh on me.

Krumm: Now look what you did.

Ickis: Me? What about you?

Krumm: You started it.

Ickis: No way, you did. Where'd she go?

Krumm: I don't know.

Ickis: You go this way. I'll take that. [Sadly] Hey, Oblina! I'm sorry.

[Ickis hears rumbling coming from an old cooker and opens it and eats a cockroach out of it and then searches the cooker for more food, Krumm then hovers over and scares Ickis.]

Krumm: [laughing]

Ickis: Krumm. That was good. You're really had- (gasps) [Squeaks] Krumm!

Krumm: Oh, boy, you should have seen your face.

Ickis: [Squeaks] Krumm. Look!

[Simon then tries to catch the two monsters with a pair of razor sharp clawed hands]

Ickis: Do something!

[Krumm attempts to armpit spray him but fails, Ickis then looms and Simon attempts to grab Ickis but catches himself in a rope trap set by Oblina causing him to fall over, while Oblina runs away Simon takes a picture of her with his camera.]

[The scene changes to the monster's room]

Krumm: I held him down...

Oblina: How brave of you Krumm.

Ickis: Yeah, Yeah and I disarmed him and we took this rope and strung him up.

Oblina: Funny. That sounds exactly like my rope trick. You know the one that never works. [Oblina hangs like a rope and grabs Ickis and Krumm]

[The scene changes to outside of the dump]

Simon: That's proof, proof, I got proof, I got the proof, I got the proof right here! I got my proof-

[A dumper truck then pours garbage on Simon, Simon emerges from the rubbish heap but loses his photograph in the process and starts to look for it but to no avail.]

Simon: This is hopeless, help, I'll never find it, never! never! No, I won't give up! I can't give up! As long as our monsters are roaming the underworld, crawling under beds and scaring the pants on other people, I shall not give up! I shall not rest, and every monster's clutch I will be back! I'll be back!

[The dumper truck drives by and it shows the Gromble inside of it and chuckles as the episode fades out]

Advertisement