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— This is a transcribed copy of Monsters, Get Real!. —
Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "The Switching Hour" Next: "Snorched if You Do, Snorched if You Don't"

[It all begins on a stormy night. A kid named Bradley is reading his book in bed.]

Bradley: " "Its ugly wound bled green, bilious fluid As it came closer and closer." [sniffs and coughs] till the monster's hot breath was right in his face."

Bradley's Dad: Bradley, are you asleep?

[Bradley hides his comic book and turns off the lights.]

Bradley: Yeah, dad.

Bradley's Dad: I thought so. I hope you're not reading those monster comics again. They'll give you nightmares, son.

Bradley: Monsters? Get real.

[Bradley drops the book on the floor and goes back to sleep. A figure under Bradley's bed is shown with it's eyes turning bloody red and makes a chomping sound with its teeth, waking Bradley instantly. The figure under the bed is revealed to be Ickis, who is reading a monster manual that glows. Bradley looks under his bed and catches Ickis in the act, in which the imp shrieks in terror and runs out of the bedroom in the process.]

Bradley: Huh?

[Now we cut to the dump where Ickis is running uphill towards the dryer.]

Ickis: Oh boy, I blew it, I really blew it, the Gromble's gonna fry me for sure.

[Ickis is seen riding down an elevator which looks like a bird cage.]

Ickis: What if the Gromble puts me in the trash compactor? Oh sure, it's fun the first time.

Gromble: Above all the nauseating huge spouting slime bondering don't you have even foul smelling, wart gritting, wart covered, pus oozing, pimples on the butt of creation I've ever seen, this class is the grungest and I am darn proud of you.

Krumm: Where's Ickis?

Oblina: I really wouldn't know.

Gromble: But good grooming isn't enough no, no, no, our job is to scare the pants of everything that moves and that takes guts.

Oblina: I hate it when he does that.

Monster: Excuse me sir. My nose is running!

Gromble: ENOUGH! [Eats the monsters and spits it out]

Gromble: Where Was I? Oh yes, yes, yes, up to now you maggots can only scare puppy dogs and bunny rabbits, but tonight is your first real test terrifying humans, aren't you paying attention mister?

Monster: Yes sir, I'm all yours.

Gromble: Right, well let's see some demonstration who's first? KRUMM!

Krumm: Thanks, o' great Gromble, sir.

[Krumm goes to the Viewfinder, which sees two teenagers in a car on a beach by the sea.]

Gromble: Sweaty teenagers good choice, now let's notice how Krumm waits until just the right moment.

[The teenagers both kiss Krumm's armpits and are both scared off, the monsters cheer]

[Ickis slowly enters the auditorium.]

Gromble: Good work, Krumm! The old smelly armpits attack!

Krumm: (bragging) And, I don't wear deodorant!

Gromble: (smells Krumm's stench and gags) We know. (to the students) Alright, which one of you nose pickers is next?

Monster #2: (with his many hands raised) Me, me, me, me, me!

Gromble: No. [sees Ickis and points at him] YOU!

Ickis: Sur, oh, well I-

[Ickis gets pulled up to the viewfinder which sees him when he is under Bradley's bed looking through his manual]

Gromble: Hmmm, the old "It Came From Under the Bed" approach. Well, not exactly original.

Ickis: Gum sauces, ah scary poses!

Gromble: At least, you checked the manual.

[Just like that scene, when Bradley sees Ickis he screams.]

Oblina: Here we go again.

Krumm: Uh oh.

Gromble: STOP! [The viewfinder stops, showing the Monster Manual, then shuts off.] Do you have any idea of what you did?

Ickis: Completely humiliated myself?

Gromble: No. (bellows at Ickis) YOU LEFT YOUR MONSTER MANUAL BEHIND! (scratches his chin) Do you know what will happen if you do not get that manual back?

Ickis: You're not gonna torture me, are you?

Gromble: [Chuckles] Of course not. [Ickis sighs] That's his job. [Points up to The Snorch]

Monsters: [Gasps] The Snorch!

Ickis: I can't go back, the kid is going to get me, I've got to get the book, but I can't get the book, I can't do this, I just got to get the book, I can't face The Snorch.

Krumm: Uh.

Ickis: You can face this- [muttering]

Oblina: [in her bed] Will you please shut up so I can get some sleep?! We will help you tomorrow.

Krumm: All you got to do is scare the kid, grab the manual and split.

Oblina: He's just a little boy. How hard can it possibly be? You could do this, do, do, do, do, do, or this, la la la la la or maybe this [roars]

Ickis: Why don't you scare the boy and I'll take notes?

Oblina: An excellent idea, Ickis.

Ickis: You will? Oh, that's great, terrific, magni-

Oblina: Unfortunately...

Ickis: I hate that word.

Krumm: Bummer.

Oblina: If the Gromble found out we did your assignment we'd be snorched, but we will go with you and support you 100,000 percent.

Ickis: Swell.

Krumm: I know a shortcut. [breathes his eyeballs and rubs them] [Chuckles]

[Now we cut to the sewer. It is dark and ghoulish in all times at night.]

Oblina: What was that?

Krumm: The sounds of the sewer. Beautiful, huh?

[A slimy monster forms and slowly approaches the monster trio]

Oblina: Hurry up, Krumm. I don't relish treading around here much longer.

Krumm: Let me see that's north. Which means that's east.

Oblina Which means we should have taken the bus.

[She turned and gasped. The others turned and saw a slimy looking monster towering up in front of them.]

Krumm: Grungy?

Grungy: Krummy! [Hugs Krumm]

Krumm: Ickis and Oblina, meet my uncle Grungy.

Oblina: Oh my.

Grungy: Any friend of Krummy's, come here.

Ickis: Oh... It's not necessary si- [Grungy Hugs Ickis and then attempts to hug Oblina]

Oblina: Nah, I'm sure...

Krumm: Grungy, you know the sewers, I can't find the main pipe to 76th street,

Grungy: Hop in the cellbo joint, crawl three main pipes down and hang right.

Krumm: Thanks.

Grungy: Bye, Krummy. Take it sleazy. [Dissolves into a puddle on the wall]

Krumm: I love it when he does that. [Attempts to turn a dial] Give me a hand.

[Krumm and Oblina turn the dial and open it as a crocodile comes out of it.]

Krumm: Let's go. [Ickis and Oblina follow Krumm through the sewer pipe]

Krumm: I've really missed this.

Oblina: What exactly have you missed? The cold the damp or the furry little creatures that crawl up your nose? Never mind.

Krumm: [Licks the creatures off of his nose] Hehe.

[The sound of a flushed toilet is heard and water rushes down and through the pipe]

Ickis: What's that noise?

Krumm: Sounds like water.

Oblina: We've got to get out of here!

Krumm: It's just water, [Chuckles] and some extra goodies.

Oblina: Wha... What... what are you going to do?

Krumm: The backstroke?

Oblina: Krumm, you imbecile!

[The water splashes all over the monsters.]

Oblina: I CAN'T SWIM!

Krumm: Oblina, catch! [Throws Oblina a scuba mask]

Ickis: We're coming after you!

Krumm: Surf's up.

Ickis: Here goes nothing.

Oblina: Help!

Krumm: Hang on, Oblina!

[The three monsters are flushed out of the pipe and are held onto safety from a pipe and then fall off from it shortly afterwards.]

Krumm: That was a royal flush.

[The scene changes to Bradley's house and into the bathroom where the monsters are seen coming out of the toilet.]

Oblina: Next time, I'll take the bus.

Clockwork toy: I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.

[The group slowly enter Bradley's room and hide in the closet.]

Oblina: How adorable.

Krumm: This is gonna be easy.

Ickis: That book is mine.

[Ickis was about to grab it but the room is filled with human kids causing havoc.]

Oblina: They're little monsters.

Ickis: I can't do it, guys. I can't. Please let's go home.

Krumm: Well, it's them or the Snorch.

[Children are seen causing havoc in the bedroom, while the monsters get closer to retrieving the manual, suddenly Krumm is picked up by a kid.]

Kid: Hey Brad, what's this piece of crud?

Bradley: Probably my sister's.

Kid: Sure stinks.

[The kid inserts a wind up key into Krumm's butt and winds it up and Krumm acts just like the clockwork toy.]

Krumm: I love you, I love you, I love you.

[Krumm then sees the manual.]

Krumm: [Chuckles]

[The children cause more havoc in the bedroom, in the process, a kid throws a book under the bed causing the manual to be switched.]

Kid: Hey, Let's throw them out the window and see if they bounce.

[Hearing this, Ickis starts to trigger his looming form. He bursts out of the closet and scares them. Oblina and Krumm grab the book and runs back. The three boys scream and run out of the room]

[Scene changes to the dump]

Krumm: You were awesome, Ickis. You really saved our butts. Especially mine.

Oblina: I must admit you were very impressive. I didn't know you could be such a monstrous monster.

Ickis: Neither did I. When I saw you guys in danger, my instincts just kicked in.

Oblina: Do try to hold on to the manual in the future, won't you?

Ickis: [climbing into his bed.] Oh, I am not letting it out of my sight. In fact, I'm going to read a chapter or two right now. 'Arf, arf, arf, arf-' Huh? Sergeant Mike, Police Dog? Oh, guys, we got the wrong book!

[Krumm's eyeballs act shocked and the scene changes to outside of the city dump where a scream is heard through the open door of the dryer as the camera zooms out and lots of bats fly away with an echo of Krumm laughing as the scene fades out.]