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— This is a transcribed copy of Monsters Are Fun. —
Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Baby it's You" Next: "Out of the Past"

[episode starts]

Operator: Yo, step right up, ladies and gentlemen. You want warm? You want fuzzy? I'm talking maximum cuteness here. Grab your kiddies And get on over to "monsters are fun."

Girl: Look, mommy. Monsters are so cute.

Gromble: Turn it off. Turn it off! What you have just seen Is a disgrace to monsters everywhere. Cute monsters, cuddly monsters Fun monsters! Monsters aren't fun! We're scary. hat's why I need my top students Oblina, krumm.. Ahem. You two will scare the humans At this wretched, evil place tomorrow And shut it down!

Ickis: Um, your great grouchiness... Aren't you forgetting something?

Gromble: Yes. Forgive me, Ickis. how could I
have been so thoughtless? I forgot to show you... Hmm. My... Where's ickis? Oh, there you are At the very bottom of the class for the third week in a row. Could that be why I'm not sending you On this assignment? Well?

Ickis: I'm thinking.

Gromble: This is too important for you to mess up. Understand?

Krumm: Cheer up, Ickis. There's nowhere to go but up.

Ickis: Thanks.

[???]

Ickis: Hey, guys, it's a hot day And there's a whole bunch of new garbage That just got dumped.

Oblina: Not now, Ickis. We are preparing for our scare tomorrow. Besides, should you not be studying or something?

Ickis: Krumm? Come on.

Krumm: No, I've got to practice.

Ickis: Fine. Then I'll just go and enjoy all that delicious sun-ripened garbage by myself.
[Imitating Oblina]: "should you not be studying or something?" [Imitating Krumm]: "I've got to practice." I'll show them, I'll show 'em all!

Operator: here we go. "Monsters are fun." Chock full of family values And a value for the whole family. Only two bucks.

Ickis: Monsters are fun?

Operator: "Monsters are fun." Chock full of family values. Step right up, here we go. I need anew career.

Ickis: I can't look! It's too horrible!

Jason: Mommy, kitties and a big rabbit.

Ickis: Big rabbit, huh? I've got your big rabbit right here.

Overprotective mother: Jason, get over here and sit by your mother.

[???]

Overprotective mother: That's better.

Girl: Daddy, are they any more monsters?

Dad: No, I'm afraid that's all.

[??]

Operator: Take it, you didn't like the ride.

Dad: There are monsters in there!

Operator: No kidding. It's often confused with the ferris wheel.

Dad: But they're not fun monsters. They're big, scary monsters. My child is permanently traumatized. Look.

Girl: Monster...

Operator: What are you talking about? Those monsters couldn't scare my grandmother And she's scared of bath water. Ow! Oh! Easy, easy. What's the matter with you, lady?

Ickis: I'm so good.

[Meanwhile]

Oblina: Oh, what a workout. I'm so good, I scare myself.

Krumm: Boy, I worked up an appetite. Do you think Ikis left us any of that new garbage?
 
Oblina: By the way, where is Ickis? You do not think he would be foolish enough to--

Teenager: They say this ride's really rad, man. Like watching five horror movies at once.

Teenager 2: I hear this ride's so scary It ain't legal in states.

Operator: This is scary? But hey, if they think it's scary, it's scary. The money's just as green And I'm on my way to easy street.

Man: Hey, I heard this ride was scary. The only thing scary so far is the price.

[Ickis scares then men out of the boat.]

Teenager: Dude, this is worse than my mom's tracks.

[???]

Teenager: Dude, that was so cool! When that Dude jumped out, dude. I mean Dude!

Teenager 2: It was almost as scary As the day I discovered I had no more room for tattoos. I'm riding again.

Operator: Hey yo, scary thing? I know your in there. What say you and me have a little talk, huh? I got connections. You scratch my back, I'll scratch your... Whatever. Okay, okay, you're a little shy. I'll come back. 'Cause I'm going to make sure You stay here for a long time. Oh, yeah.

Oblina: Well, I cannot believe Ickis would actually go to that carnival And steal our scare.

Krumm: You think you know a monster And then he goes and pulls Something like this.

Oblina: When I get done with him!

Krumm: Save some for me.

Operator: Let's see what this super deluxe Roach resort catches, huh? Mr. Scary goes in And I got a first-class ticket to the good life.

Ickis: [Imitating Gromble]: "Now, class, where is Ickis? "Why, let's look at the chart. Here he is, at the bottom of the class." Ow! Now look who's the top student, Gromble. Ha! I got the moves. Hit me! I got the talent. Hit me! I got the... Ooh, I...

[???]

Ickis: Sticky stuff all over me.

Operator: Ladies and gentlepersons I kid you not. This is the scariest ride you'll ever be on. Get your tickets here.

Oblina: Ickis.

Teen: What in the sam hill kind of ride is this? A wiggling carpet? Y'all call this scary? Well, this ain't scary. I want my money back.

Krumm: Ickis, you alright?

Ickis: Krumm? Is that you?

Oblina: I do not know, Icky. You seem to be doing just fine. Scaring all the humans we were supposed to scare.

Krumm: Yeah, maybe you want to stay a little longer. It looks mighty comfy in there.

Oblina: Yes, we shall come back in, oh, say Maybe two, three weeks With some garbage, if we're not too busy. Will you be quiet?!

[Music stops]

Ickis: I'm sorry I took your scare. I really, really truly, truly am, I am. NOW GET ME OUT OF HERE. Please!

Teen: I want my money back. I want my money back!

Operator: I'll be right back. There must be some kind of short in the main... Uh, scary fuse in there. Just, just sit tight.
 
[???]

Operator: yo, mr. Scary I'm coming.

Oblina: Oh no. There's an awful human who's responsible for this abomination. Quick, Krumm. Get us loose.

[???]

Ickis: Krumm! Your stench! It's melting the goo.

Krumm: My rankness works in mysterious ways.

Oblina: Hurry, Krumm.

Ickis: Yo... Mr. Human.

[???]

Operator: It was... Real monsters.

Teen: Well, I'll believe it when I see 'em.

Ickis: I hope you're not mad at me.

Oblina: Why? Just because you stole our scare and made us come here to get you at great personal risk? Whatever gave you that idea! [scoffs]

Ickis: Sorry.

Operator: It was here. I swear. Uh, well, how about a partial refund? How about that? Okay, okay. full refund, full refund. No problem, okay.

Carny: thrills, chills, spills. Come on, hog rides here, ride the wild hog.

Girl: Look, mommy, piggies are so cute.

Operator: Oh, I need another new career. Step right up. Hog rides, fun for the whole family. Nonstop hog excitement.

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