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— This is a transcribed copy of Monsters Are Real. —
Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Curse of Katana" Next: "This is Your Brain on Ickis"

[At a club in the city, a bunch of women are chasing a male celebrity, who runs into the bathroom for sanctuary.]

Man: Alone at last. With me.

[???]

Exposia: Monsters!

Oblina: What happened to you?

Ickis: A human flashed me.

Oblina: Are you sure?

Ickis: Yes, I'm sure.

Krumm: This is bad. Real bad.

Ickis: Hey, it's not like I stood up and said "Here I am! Flash me!"

Oblina: Calm down, Ickis.

Ickis: Calm down? That means they got my face on flash paper which means I have proof of our existence which means were are doomed.

Krumm: Hey what's this?

Oblina: This must be the human who flash you. Follow me.

Ickis: Where are we going?

Oblina: To find that flash paper.

[???]

Oblina: Alright. Let's split up.

Ickis: Are you sure we shouldn't... stick together on this?

[???]

Ickis: Oh no. I'm gonna be on the cover of the newspaper.

[???]

Exposia: My best work ever. I can actually see his face.

[???]

Exposia: Monsters!

Oblina: This really does not do him justice. He's much uglier.

Man: So you got a story for me?

Man 2: I got a woman in Georgia with a rash. Oh, it's such a rash, you'd see this rash. It's in the shape-- ready for this?-- Of florida.

Man: A rash. You call that news? I want drama I want action.

Man 2: Action okay. There's a bald man in Greece who fries eggs on his head.

Man: Let me show you something kid. See this? This is news. Thisis what sells newspapers. This is what I want.

Man 2: What is that?

Man: I have no Idea, But it has headline written all over it. Now, get out there And find me something like this. And don't come back until you do. Kids today. Wouldn't know a news story If it was staring them In the face.

[???]

Ickis:Big metal...spinning...Ickis spinning.

Oblina:It's alright Ickis. You can relax I got you're flash paper right here.

Krumm:But If you got it and I got it...

Oblina: There is no telling how many there could be..

Ickis: Yes, there is.

[???]

Ickis: I'm sure you're all wondering why I ask you here. It's nothing really. ou guys will laugh when I tell you. It could have happened to anyone. This time, it was me.

Kriggle: Spit it out already.

Ickis: I was flashed by a human. And they use this to make copies.

Snav: Oh, no!

Urbab: It's over!

Stazula: We're done for!

Kriggle: The Gromble's gonna-

[All screaming. Snav hides under the bed.]

Ickis: Wait wait. There's no need to panic. I have a plan. We go up there and get all the papers back before the humans get them. It's our only hope. Now who's with me?

[None of them did but Oblina and Krumm did.]

Ickis: Alright. I'm sensing a little fear here. That's okay. We can do this. I know we can. Now let's out get there and get those papers!

[Ickis leaves the room. But comes back because Snav, Kriggle, Urbab and Stazula are not moving.]

Ickis: Did anybody hear me? We got to act like a team here. One for all, all for one. Come on!

Snav: Too dangerous. Much too dangerous.

Kriggle: Hey, it's not our problem. We didn't get flashed either.

Ickis: Okay. Fine. Don't help me. See if I care. I don't need you anyway [shrilly] I'll do it myself.

Urbab: Think they'll make it?

Kriggle: Not a chance.

Stazula: Let's hope they do!

Snav: Hey, wait up! Wait for me!

[The monsters follow.]

[???]

Oblina: Allow me.

[???]

Krumm: Looks like we got bigger problems.

Kriggle: Go ahead. Will get these for you.

Ickis: You will?

[???]

Kriggle: Open!

[???]

Kriggle: Just grab them all and let's go!

Urbab: That would be wrong.

[???]

Kriggle: And now may present the very last paper.

Krumm: Allow me.

Gromble: Well well well. I trust we all had A good night's sleep? Krumm! Is there anything you'd like To tell me about last night? While you still can?!

Krumm: No sir. There's nothing I like to tell you.

Gromble: I see. Would anyone else shed some light on why you're all tired this morning?

Zimbo: I have news, your magnificence. A bigga, huge-a ginormous news.

Gromble: Oh, Zimbo. My little eyes and ears.

Zimbo: I find this in Ickis' room this morning, perhaps it will serve the mystery.

(Zimbo then dropped the paper, revealing the photo of Ickis which caused Gromble to scream out loud. Later Ickis, who is seen upside down but in another view explained what happened.)

Ickis: I got flashed. My face was printed on the papers we go them back every paper in my room.

Gromble: Well, I can't say this pleases me. But I am impressed by your resourcefulness. Quite impressed.

Ickis: You are?

Gromble: Yes.

Ickis: Really impressed?

Gromble: Don't push it, ickis. Now, you're sure you got every paper?

Ickis: Yes. Every last one.

Gromble: Every last one?

[???]

Officer: Thank you hildament..

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