Monsters Don't Dance/Transcript

Monsters Don't Dance

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Transcript

— This is a transcribed copy of Monsters Don't Dance. —

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Previous: "Monster Hunter"

Next: "Gone Shopp'n"

[We began at a local toy store.]

Mr. Myers: No, No, No! Not the Lizards! How many times do I have to tell you, Lizard out! Murray in! I've got Murray coming and this kid puts out Lizards. Why did I hire you?

Mr. Myers's son: Sorry, dad.

[Krumm picks up a doll]

Krumm: Ugly.

[Ickis and Oblina come out of the box]

Oblina: Quite sad actually. This is what human girls choose to look like? Why would anyone want smooth skin, and all their fingers and toes?

Krumm: Well, let's go outside and scare them.

[The monsters head outside doing their scare forms while doing so]

Man: And now, ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, the moment you all been waiting for. It's Murray!

[A limo pulls up outside of the toy store as a group of guys get out of the limo along with Murray, Murray blows kisses and waves to the crowd]

Oblina: Shocking.

Ickis: I can't believe they're making him do this.

Krumm: He's like a puppet on a string.

Oblina: He's not even trying to scare them.

Krumm: They like him.

Oblina: I know. He is making them happy. A monster captured by humans and force to do these humiliating tricks.

[Murray Does a Cartwheel]

Krumm: Boy, I couldn't do that. [Stares at Ickis] Could you do that?

Ickis: No!

[The kids enter the store and buying all the toys. Krumm buys the last one]

Oblina: This is outrageous.

[Krumm chews the doll's head off and spits it out.]

Krumm: I know. No chewy center.

Ickis: Be serious, Krumm.

Oblina: They have made this pathetic unfortunate into a laughing stock, a buffoon plaything for their amusement.

[Ickis gets picked up by a boy and tries to loom to scare the boy but the boy just laughs and runs to his mum]

Boy: Look, mommy, he grows when you squeeze him. Can I have him?

Mum: Didn't I just buy you a Murray the Monster doll?

Boy: [Throws a tantrum] But I want him! [The boy gets dragged away and drops Ickis]

[Murray the monster is performing on a stage in front of a lot of kids.]

Man: Hey, kids! What does Murray the monster say?

Kids: Monsters are people, too!

Man: That's right. Monsters are people too. Hey, are monsters scary?

Kids: No!

Man: But you know what Murray is a little sad. [Murray Cries] Why? Because little baby Murray monsters are trapped somewhere in this store, they want to get out and find a good home, do you know how you can save them?

Kids: How?

Man: By telling your mommy and daddy to buy you a Murray doll, and if they don't cry really loud until they do.

[Murray throws a Murray doll to a little girl and then all the other kids run off.]

Oblina: We have got to save him.

Ickis: Sure, us, against all of them.

Oblina: We can't just leave him. He could die up here. Besides think of what heroes we would be, they'll give us medals.

Ickis: Medals?

Krumm: I love lead.

[Scene changes to outside the toy store where Murray blows kisses as he walks back into the limo]

Murray: Kids. Why are they always so short? The things I do for money.

[The monsters are then seen under the limo]

Krumm: I like big cars.

Ickis: It's quiet and comfortable.

Oblina: Elegantly understated.

[The monsters then see a news stand]

Krumm: Popular guy.

Oblina: This is more serious than I thought. He has been photographed.

Krumm: At least they got his bad side.

Oblina: We've got to do something. If humans are not afraid of him. they could lose their fear of all monsters. Then where would we be?

{The limo pulls up outside of a TV studio and Murray is escorted inside, then gets made up and appears on a stage in front of lots of people]

Murray: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you boys and girls. Hope you're ready to have good time because on today's show, we're gonna learn how to shop. Uh-huh, Uh-huh, yeah! But first, a new monster tune called 'even though you got flaky skin you're appealing to me.' Yeah, Uh-huh, Uh-huh! And Now It's lunch with Murray. So get out your Murray plates, Murray cups and put on your Murray hats and your Murray buttons and your Murray shoes and your underwear, your Murray underwear. Uh-huh, Uh-Hu-hu-huh. Don't be scared, don't be blue if you see a monster just say [along with kids] Coochi coochi coo. Remember, kids, monsters are people too.

Oblina: Blastamy.

Ickis: He's a traitor, He needs a good snorching.

Oblina: Maybe he has been brainwashed.

Krumm: Maybe's he's told them where we live. [Krumm picks up an ant with his foot and eats it]

Ickis: Maybe we should panic.

[Scene changes to outside of Murray's dressing room]

Oblina: Okay, here is what we have, two principal points of entry, the heating the toilet now, the toilet is a problem because the main intake valve is in the boiler room so I say-

Meanchey. Hey! You kids must be the winners of the costume contest. Murray wanted you to wait inside.

[The monsters enter Murray's dressing room]

Ickis: Okay, Murray, it's over. You're coming with us.

Murray: Hey! Who let you kids-

[Krumm stinks him with his armpit hair and Murray faints and then the monsters attempt to push him down the toilet]

Oblina: Hate this fellow.

[The monsters struggle to push him into the toilet.]

Oblina: Push!

Ickis: Maybe if we flush his head first, the rest will follow.

[The toilet breaks apart and the monsters put the toilet onto Murray's head.]

Ickis: Quick, help me!

[The costume's head falls off revealing a human's head.]

Krumm: Look, he shed his head.

Ickis: No! He's changing into a human!

[Both scream]

Krumm: He is a human!

Oblina: [Screams again] Oh, I touched him!

Ickis: Well, at least we can get out of here.

Oblina: You must be joking. This impostor is spreading love and happiness everywhere and he must be stopped!

Ickis: You thinking what I'm thinking?

Oblina: Allow me.

Krumm: A nightmare. Hehehe...

[Oblina sticks her finger into Murray's ear and then tickles his brain.]

Ickis: Aren't you supposed to use two fingers?

Oblina: And that is exactly why you given inferior nightmares. [Murray wakes up] Krumm.

[Krumm stinks Murray again with his armpit hair and Murray faints.]

Krumm: I love my work.

[Oblina sticks her finger into Murray's ear again and the scene changes into Murray's nightmare]

Murray: Hey, kids. Bet you can't wait to get a Murray doll, uh-huh, uh-huh!

Nightmare kid: I hate those things. They're stupid!

Nightmare kid 2: I hate them too. I want a refund.

Nightmare kids: Refund! Refund! Refund! Refund! Refund! Refund! Refund! Refund! Refund! [Murray then shrinks]

[Murray runs inside the store and gets scared by a jack in the box, a falling teddy bear, toy soldiers and several Murray dolls, Murray then runs inside a playhouse with people dolls and sits down on a couch and then sees Krumm and Oblina with the two people dolls with Ickis appearing on top of the couch that Murray is sitting on.]

Murray: Who are you?

Oblina: We are monsters.

Ickis: And we're not people too.

Oblina: You have been giving monsters a bad name. Starting tomorrow, they'll will no longer be a Murray the Monster. You're quitting the show.

Murray: But what about all my kids? And all my money?

Oblina: It's over, Mur!

Ickis: Yeah, Mur!

Krumm: So remember, I'll be keeping an eye on you. [Murray catches one of Krumm's eyeballs and then gets scared and runs away, then the nightmare ends and Murray wakes up]

Murray: Woah. What happened? Boy, what a nightmare. How did I get here? [Murray sees a doll sitting on the ground and falls over]

[The scene changes to a stage auditorium where several kids come through the entrance]

Girl: Mommy, I want lips like that.

Mother: Excuse me, but err, where did you buy your ugly lips?

Oblina: Darling, you do not buy ugly YOU INHERIT IT!

Murray: Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

[Murray takes money from people and then appears on stage]

Murray: Don't be scared don't be blue if you see a monster just say [along with kids] coochi coochi coo. Uh-huh. So, boys and girls, have a heart. And give a baby Murray doll a home, and while you're at it make a baby Murray doll happy by buying him a new Murray hat, and a new Murray T-shirt, and a new Murray lunch pail, and a new Murray thermos. Uh-huh, Uh-huh.

Oblina: We have got to do something. Our nightmares did not work.

Ickis: I told you to use two fingers.

Oblina: Don't start. [Grabs Ickis and attempts to throw him off the balcony.]

Murray: Hey, kids, it's time to look under the bed. Uh-huh, Uh-huh.

[Murray goes under the bed, Ickis hiding behind the bed then looms.]

Murray: Look who I found. And I think he wants to sing a song.

[Murray sees Krumm's eyeball and looks up to see Krumm, then Murray looks up to see Ickis attempting to stomp Murray, Oblina roars at Murray and Murrays runs off the stage as Ickis stomps the bed and breaks it]

Murray: Run! Run for your lives! There are monsters on this stage! Horrible, scary, smelly, real monsters!

[Murray screams, Ickis elbow nudges Krumm, Krumm laughs. Later on, Murray is now an employee who stocking Murray dolls.]

Manager: No, no, no! Not Murray! That guy is washed up! How many times do I have to tell you, Murray out! Frogs in! Why did I hire you?

Murray: Sorry, Mr. Myers. Uh-huh.

[The episode fades out, ending it]