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— This is a transcribed copy of Smile and Say Oblina. —
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[It all stared in the dump.]

Krumm: That gludge is awesome.

Oblina: Yes. He is awesome.

Ickis: What is so great about Glunge? You'd think nobody ever scared An olympic weight lifting team before.


Oblina: Is he not perfectly hideous?

Ickis: He's perfectly something.

Krumm: Why don't you go over to him?

Oblina: He's surrounded. He'll never notice me.

Ickis: Oh, oh, oh. Take away his popularity, His looks, His great scaring technique, And what do you have, hmm?

Krumm: You're not afraid To talk to Ickis.

Oblina: Oh, you're right. I'm going over there. Why should I be nervous? After all, Gludge is a monster Just like any other monster.


Glunge: Here, for you.

Oblina: Oh. I'm sure I couldn't.

Glunge: Of course you could.

Oblina: Did you see that? He likes me.

Ickis: One moldy towel and you're all swoony. Aren't you getting A little ahead of yourself here?

Oblina: Today a towel, Tomorrow A towel rack.


Oblina: Can you believe it? Glunge finally notices and I have to get braces tomorrow.

Ickis: You should have brush you're teeth 30 years ago.

Krumm: Yeah, and you floss too.

Oblina: Just once!

Ickis: You're paying for it now are you. See? Their sparkling so straight.

Oblina: [crying] You're right. [she picks up the towel.] Good night, my racid little charmer.


Oblina: Do you really think braces are necessary? Couldn't we try something A little less severe?

Dentist: You want a smile that beams Or one that's truly repulsive?

Oblina: Well.

Dentist: This won't hurt a bit. I love saying that. So Oblina, how do you like school? And the Gromble how is that old carter doing. Of course he is. Just a few more minutes, And I'll be all done. And to think they said I'd never make I

Oblina: [muffled] You cannot be serious! I can't talk! I cannot see! I look stupid!!

Dentist: You look fabulous!

Oblina: I look ridiculous.

Dentist: True. But in two weeks, you look fabulous.

Oblina: Two weeks?! TWO WEEKS?! I want them off now!

Dentist: No can do.

[At the dorm]

Krumm: It's so shiny,

Ickis: And big very very big.

Oblina: It's just awful, isn't it?

Krumm: I like it.

Ickis: Awful no. I wouldn't call it an awful. But it definitely Makes a statement.

Oblina: Really?

Ickis: Oh sure. It says, um-- It says, "This is a monster Who's gonna have The most crooked teeth around." Eventually.

Oblina: I hate them. I look like A household appliance.

Krumm: I like appliances.

Ickis: Oblina, It's just your teeth. I think you're griping Entirely too much here.

Oblina: I do not need a lecture! I need help!


Oblina: [muffled] How do they look now?

Ickis: No one will ever notice.

[fin a moment he and Krumm laugh]

Glunge: Don't I know you?

Oblina: I'm Oblina.

Glunge: Wow. You look really putrid.

Oblina: Thank you.

Glunge: Hmm, You're probably busy, A loathsome little package Like you, But hey, If you're no Doing anything tonight, Maybe you'd like to--

Oblina: I love to!

Glunge: Right. I think we could have some fun.

Oblina: I love fun.

Glunge: It's be magic.

Oblina: I love magic.

Glunge: I'll pick you up later.

Oblina: I love later. See you then Glunge. Toodle-ee-oo.

Glunge: And Oblina..

Oblina: Yes?

Glunge: Please be sure To give those braces a good polish.

Krumm: That one. Trust me. I know these things.

Ickis: Why does he have to come in here? I hate that he's coming in here. He'll strut around, Flex his muscles. It's a small room.

Oblina: Tonight, I shall show Glunge the scare of his life.

Krumm: You're taking him scaring?

Oblina: Why not? I want to make an impression.


Glunge: Looking sharp.

Oblina: Thank you.

Glunge: Do you mind if I walk backwards?

Oblina: I love all night.

[Later outside at night.]

Glunge: Ah, this stinks Like a nice spot. What do you say We plant ourselves, Break open a few hefty bags, And you could tell me What you really think about me?

Oblina: Sounds lovely Glungy. But I felt like we could spend the night scaring.

Glunge: Scaring? Why?

Oblina: I don't know. You and me a few humans screaming in the middle of the night. Doesn't that sound marvelous?

Glunge: Sure, it does. But hey, What's wrong with staying here? There's plenty to eat and--

Oblina: And there's nothing like a good scare.

Glunge: Why don'’t we Go down to the pits And watch the tar bubbles pop?

Oblina: Come on! We're going scaring. How about if I hide In one of those machines, You climb up there

And wait for my signal?

Glunge: Better yet, You scare '’em, and I'’ll watch.

Oblina: You don't want to do this?

Glunge: I told you I'm just not into it tonight.

Oblina: Oh well if you really want to.. Oh. It's me isn't it? [she cries]

Glunge: - Hey, hey, Do you have to do that? Look, generally, It would be you. But in this case, it's- it's-- [Sobbing] It's me.

Oblina: You? But you are the best. Everyone still talks About how you terrorized Those weight lifters.

Glunge: That was a lucky scare.

Oblina: You just stopped trying. That's all.

Glunge: - Why should I try when I know I can never top myself? [Sniffles] If only I weren't so fabulous, Ooh, I could be even more fabulous.

Oblina: It is not about that. Turning a human Into a mass of quaking jelly Is supposed to be fun.

Glunge: What if I mess it up?

Oblina: Then you try again! You don't have to be perfect.


Ickis: What is going on?

Oblina: I have the greatest time! Just great. Glunge was great and I was great and we ere great!

Ickis: Great. What does a guy have to do To get some sleep around here?

Oblina: Guess why he's so great. Guess. Can't you guess? Never mind. I'’ll tell you!

Ickis: I'm out of here.

Oblina: Fine. Then I'll just tell you. First, he's absolutely hideous. Second, he's-- Oh, you're dead. Well, I won't hold that against you. Second, he's entirely gross. Third, he's stinky.

[Two weeks later]

Oblina: So what do you think?

Glunge: What happen to your braces?

Oblina :I just got them off. Are my teeth grotesque?

Glunge: Yeah. Anblina.

Oblina: Oblina.

Glunge: Whatever. Something came up. So I'm not taking you to the party. You know, something kind of important. So I guess, uh, I'll be seeing you.

Oblina: WHAT?!?

Glunge: Now that's what I call a vision.

Oblina: [sniff] He's...gone.

Ickis: Don't let it get you down.

Krumm: Yeah, he's a bum.

Oblina: [sniff] He only likes me for my braces.

Ickis: What do you suspect? A shallow guy like that? He never saw the real Oblina. No, no, no. That putrid mass of corruption That is just uniquely you.

Oblina: You think so?

Ickis: Absolutely.

Krumm: Whatever he said.

Oblina: Thank you, guys. [kisses Krumm and Ickis in return]] It is really great having friends like you.

Krumm: Like him or like me?