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— This is a transcribed copy of The Five Faces of Ickis. —
Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Krumm Rises to the Top" Next: "Bigfoot, Don't Fail Me Now"

[Episode starts]

Krumm: You really got all that one, Ickis.

Oblina: Alrighty everyone. Practice is over.

Ickis: Ah come on, little miss stricty. Let me have one more hit, please. I'm really hot today.

Oblina: But Icky, it is almost time for class.

Ickis: One more before class. Just one more, please, oh-please-oh-please..

Oblina: Sorry, Ickis. That was our last tomato.

Ickis: Tomaeto.

Oblina: There is nothing left to hit.

Ickis: What about Krumm's eye? What about krumm's eye? We can use krumm's eye! You'll let us use it, won't you?

Krumm: I don't know.

[???]

Oblina: Time for class.

Krumm: Whew. Saved by the belch.

[???]

Ickis: Don't call on me. Don't call on me. Don't call on me.

Gromble: Ickis.

Ickis: He called on me.

Gromble: Viewfinder please.

Ickis: He called on me. He called on me.

Gromble: NOW!

[???]

Gromble: Correct me If I'm wrong Ickis, but it seems like you have no scares today. WHY NOT!?

Ickis: I was playing sewerball. That's what I was doing, really-- Getting ready for the big game!

Gromble: I see. What do you think your father The great slickis This academy's most esteemed graduate Would say if he knew you were putting the big game Before your schoolwork?

Ickis: Well, um, I think he'd say It's important to win the big game. A lot of academy pride on the line, sir. Rah, rah, rah, sis-boom-bah and all.

Gromble: Wrong! Schoolwork comes before sewer ball. Ickis, you'd better have five scares For me tomorrow morning Or there will be no big game for you.

[???]

Ickis: Oh, what I'd give not to have to do those five scares.

Monster Dealer: Hey, grumps, you look down in the dumps. Been taking some lumps from the cat in the pumps?

Ickis: Yeah. Who are you?

Monster Dealer: Chill home slice. 'm here to make you, not break you.

Ickis: You can make what I need. I need five of me tonight Or I can't play in the big game tomorrow.

Monster Dealer: Don't be so sure I don't have the cure. tuft of hair [rips Ickis' fur off] ear wax, toe jam. If it's five of you you need You can plant the seed. It's up to you to drink the brew.

Ickis: I don't know about this.

Gromble: [Illusion.] Five scares! Five scares!

Ickis: Give me that!

[Ickis swallows up the potion. His body started to shake and tingle cough and sputter, his stomach gurgles and he spews out five eggs. And they all hatch into his five versions of himself.]

Monster Dealer: Ickis, meet Trickis.

Trickis: Hey thank you very much. It's great to be here. Thanks a lot. I just have this body completely detailed.

Monster Dealer: Tickis...

Tickis: How do I look? Do I look alright? Do you like me? I hope you like me.

Monster Dealer: Thickis....

Thickis: 47, 48, 49, 50. Sweet! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Monster Dealer: Chickis..

Chickis: Hey where does the monster go to have a good time in this dinky little sewer?

Monster Dealer: And Gummo.[Gummo laughs]

Ickis: Trickis, Tickis, Thicks, Chickis and Gummo.

Monster Dealer: Don't ask.

Ickis: These are me?

Monster Dealer: Out of you they all have come. These parts equal the sum.

Ickis: How can I thank you. I don't have any toenails, i, I can't pay.

Monster Dealer: Don't worry yourself about that today. Believe me, you'll pay. You'll pay.

Ickis: Yesterday was an absolutely festering day for scaring And for a rising young monster named ickis. It was one for the record books. But why tell you about it? Let's take a look. Here's ickis on a breakaway Heading straight for a pair of ice dancers. He looms-- he scares! Oh, my, there's just no stopping This bright young talent. Even the great slickis Our most esteemed graduate Never produced a five-scare outburst like this one. Gromble, back to you.

Gromble: Oh splendid work, Ickis. You see what you can do when you apply yourself? Let that be a lesson to the rest of you snot sailors! As for the big game, ickis.. Go get 'em!

Ickis: Great job guys. I could have done better myself. Have some extra sludge.

Oblina: Ickis, [Ickis yelps] what are you doing?

Ickis: I was just talking to myself.

Krumm: Come on Ickis. e're going to be late for the big game.

Thickis: He calls this garbage? After all we did for him, I'm getting myself some real sludge. Who's with me?

Trickis: Yeah.

Tickis: Yeah.

Chickis: Yeah.

Gummo: [laughing]

[???]

Announcer: as I look around this dark, dank, disgusting facility I can't help thinking What a beautiful day for sewer ball. Hitting off for the home team in the bottom of the first Is academy team captain oblina.

Gromble: Come on Oblina! Show em what you can do!

Announcer: There's a lucky fan.

[???]

Slickis: Come on, sloolup. Hey, hey, hum that seed. Come on, baby, come on.

[???]

Gummo: [laughing]

Announcer: bottom of the ninth. Two outs, bases loaded. The academy down by three. Full count on ickis Who can end it all here With one swing of the pipe.

Trickis: Hey, what kind of a weirdo lives in a place like this?

Zimbo: Dropping in for a snorching, Ickis? What happened? Did you blow the big game?

Trickis: Great. Stereo freaks.

Zimbo: Freaks? You should know by now That insults don't make it any easier on you.

Trickis: Oh yeah. I get it. I'm supposed to be scared. Yeah right real scared. An overgrown bee and a fat monster in a muumuu. Hey, boss, what's with your friend? What is he, stuck on phonics?

Gromble: I can't watch.

Annoucner: here's the payoff pitch. There's a long drive to deep center sewer. It's gone! Home run! The academy wins! The academy wins!

Slickis: We did it!

Ickis: I don't want to go yet, dad. I want to re-live this moment forever.

Slickis: That's understandable. I'm very proud of you. But there comes a time when you have to move on And think about other things.

Tickis: Hey, do you like me?

Krumm: Of course I do, Ickis. Wow. Someone's gonna get in trouble for that.

Tickis: No! But I mean do you really like me. I mean really do ya?

Krumm: Ickis, you're my best friend.

Tickis: You like me? You absolutely sure you like me?

Krumm: Ickis, stop bothering me. I like you.

Tickis: He likes me. He really likes me.

[???]

Chickis: You are so repulsive.

Oblina: Ickis.

Chickis: Those lips those eyes. You are a stick with lips and I am infaturated with a U. Cold lips.

[???]

Ickis: [gasps] Uh oh.

[???]

Ickis: Trickis? Tickis? Thickis? Chickis? Gummo?

Monster Dealer: You're up tight, thing's alright?

Ickis: NO! Everybody is mad at me. The Gromble, Snorch, Zimbo. Even my best friends, Krumm and Oblina! You got me into big trouble, buster.

Monster Dealer: That's not nice. Sure I did the splice, but you rolled the dice. So you pay the price, home slice.

Ickis: Well, what am I going to do With those five other mes running around? Chickis tried to kiss Oblina. I am never gonna live that down.

Monster Dealer: [In The Gromble's Voice] Exactly! [He reveals himself as The Gromble.]

Ickis: Gromble.

Gromble: Yes. Yes. In a rather inspired performance If I say so myself.

Ickis: But why did you let me go though this?

Gromble: Ickis, these little lessons are so much easier to learn When you learn them for yourself. And besides, I like to see you sweat. Well, let's get those nasty clones out here. One Ickis is enough for me. [blows his whistle.] ALRIGHT EVERYONE! BACK IN THE EGGS!

[???]

Gromble: Gummo...

[???]

Ickis: What's gonna happen to them?

Gromble: Why, Ickis. You're going to eat them, of course. Don't worry, ickis, I make a delightful monster egg quiche.

Ickis: Well I guess it's not so bad.

Gromble: I guess it's not so bad. My dear ickis That's just the beginning.

[???]

Gromble: That's the spirit, ickis, keep it up. At this rate, you'll be finished In less than a month.

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