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— This is a transcribed copy of The Great Escape. —
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[???]

Shorty: Free again. There ain't been a prison built that could hold me.

[???]

News: This just in.. Bank robber, escape artist And master of disguise Shorty McGinty Has broken out of bates county prison. Linda hagood has more on the story.

Shorty's voice: Yeah, you got that right, chuck.

Officer: There he is! Get him!

[???]

Woman: Fluffy!

[Officer]

Officer: There he is! Hurry, come on!

Boy: Extra, extra! Shorty McGinty eludes police! Read all about it!

Officer: Hey, you, halt!

[??]

Officer: Freeze! Hold it right there, shorty!

[???]

Ickis: Ah, finally, a day to myself. No classes, no homework. No Gromble. No worries. This is great. I can just relax and get some peace and quiet.

Officer: All right, shorty You've just reached the end of the road.

Ickis: Shorty, wha... Huh?!

Officer: That silly purple costume don't fool us, shorty. We're wise to your disguises.

Shorty: This place ain't half bad. I ought to hide here till the heat dies down.

Officer: All right, shorty, how did you do it? How did you get out of your cell?

Ickis: Look, guys, you have made a mistake. I'm not shorty, I don't know any shorty. My name is Ickis.

Officer 3: Right, and I'm Abraham Lincoln.

Ickis: Oh... [Laughing] Well, then, Mr. Lincoln, sir, if you'll just excuse me, I...

Officer 2: Quiet! Let's get you Out of that stupid rabbit costume.

Ickis: Hey! All right, you asked for it. I am not shorty. I am not a rabbit! I am a monster! [tries to loom. Ow... Oh. Ow, ow, ow!

Officer: That's a neat trick, shorty But it won't save you from the pokey.

And this ought to keep you from going anywhere, anytime soon.

[???]

Ickis: I can't take it anymore.

Old man: ah, you only been here Five minutes. Boy, they worked you over bad. You look purple all over, shorty.

Ickis: Don't call me that! I am not shorty. I don't know any shorty.

Old man: Suit yourself, sonny. I seen them come, I seen them go. Been in this place 72 years.

Ickis: Well, I am not staying here another 72 seconds. These humans do not know who they are dealing with. I am getting out of here. Hah, see you.

[???]

Ickis: I'm out, I'm out, I'm out. Now that was easy.

Officer: Going somewhere, shorty?

Ickis: Oops.

Officer: This ought to hold you. It's made of super-titanium steel. You'll never get it off.

Ickis: Oh, yeah? Well, we'll see about that! [bites chain but gets his teeth broken.]

Old man: You think I didn't try that, sonny?

Ickis: A temporary setback. [Tough guy voice]: No prison built by humans Can hold me, see? Leaving here is going to be easy, see? [Normal voice]: watch and learn.

[???]

Ickis: Hi, there.

Old man: Listen, sonny, I got something to tell you.

Ickis: Not now, please. I should not be talking to humans. I am getting out. You will see.

Old man: I wish you'd listen to me, sonny.

Ickis: Will you stop bothering me? I got to get out of here.

Officer: So nice of you to drop in, shorty.

Old man: If you'd just listen, sonny, I got some news for you.

Ickis: Look, if I told you once, I have told a hundred times I should not be talking to you. I've got to find a way out of here. Jackpot! See you later.

[ ???]

Well, well, look what the wind blew in.

Decided to come clean, McGinty?

Ickis: I'm never getting out of here. I'm stuck, stuck forever. I'll never see my friends. I'll never scare anyone again. My young monster life is over. Nipped in the bud. In the flower of my youth. Oh, hey, a tunnel.

Old man: That's what I been trying to tell you. Shorty's got a tunnel.

Ickis: Well, why didn't you say something? Home, here I come.

Officer: Heavens to shaughnessy... He's done it again.

[???]

Ickis: So long, suckers!

Officer: All right, shorty...

[???]

Boy: Hey, mister, toss us back our ball, will you?

Shorty: Hey, what am I, a butler? Ah, alright, you punk kid.

[ ??]

Officer: All right, shorty, your little escapade is over.

Officer: Yeah, you're going back to jail. That mud disguise didn't fool us.

Shorty: Mud? Huh? Look, you dirty coppers, I ain't through. No prison can hold me. I'm Shorty McGinty!

Ickis: Yes, yes, finally! I am home free! Oops. Yes, yes, yes. I'm free, I'm free! Free, free! [Gibbering and whining] Hello? Anybody? [Crying] I hate my life! Not a bad room, though.

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