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— This is a transcribed copy of Things That Go Bump. —
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Krumm: Hey, word in the dump is We learn a new scare today.

Ickis: I know, I know! They're saying it's going to be a good one.

Gromble: Good morning, my young grotesques. Today you will be introduced to a manner of scaring That will serve you well the rest of your unnatural lives. But first, let me introduce a new student Who just moved into our sector And will be joining us. Please welcome... The skrink! I... [ Clears throat] I know you'll make him feel at home.

Ickis: Where'd he come from?

Gromble: Now then, today's lesson. My young horrificons, feast your eyes upon... The pair scare. How many times have you been faced with An excellent scare opportunity, only to have it vanish? What you need to do is increase the fright ratio, so to speak. To add to the monster quotient For you will find thattwo oddly-shaped heads Are better than one. The fright potential is increased tenfold When you implement the pair scare.


Gromble: Since this is your first day, I won't reprimand you. I'll just calmly ask you to Get off of me!

Krumm: Boy, bet he'll go to the head of the class.

Ickis: Yeah, he will-- head first! Oh, he's getting up! Everybody duck!

Oblina: That is so rude. For goodness sakes, he's new here.

Gromble: Now to announce your partners for pair scaring. Zimbo will be partnered with... Let's see-- the Snorch.

Ickis: Now there's a shock.

Gromble: Oblina will be partnered with... Krumm.

Ickis: Hey! If you two are together, who does that leave for...

Gromble: Ickis will be partnered with... The Skrink.

Ickis: I hate my life.

Skrink: wow! Ickis, son of The great Slickis. This is a real honor. Before we get going There's something I should tell you. It's about what I do.

Ickis: I've seen what you do. So we're partners, huh? Okay, here's how We'll split up the responsibility. I'll tell you what to do And you'll do it, deal?

Skrink: Uh, I guess, but you really...

Ickis: I'll teach you Everything you need to know. All you have to do is watch and listen.


Ickis: We're going to go over every drill Till you know them like the back of... Uh, that thing there. When I am done with you We will be the best pair scarers the academies have ever seen. Ready?

Skrink: Okay, but...

Ickis: But nothing! Take a step forward.


Ickis: Now, on my signal, we pair-scare.

[ ???]

Ickis: First I go over You count to three Then you go over.

Skrink: One, two, three!

Ickis: Let's call it a day.

Gromble: Oh, tell me, Ickis. How are things going with young Skrink?

Ickis: Oh, they're just great! Great, they're terrific. Really Skrinky! Would you just pardon me a moment? Skrink!

Oblina: Oh!

Krumm: it's perfect. It's perfect!

Oblina: Now, where did you hear this?

Krumm: On my scare yesterday. I overheard a human kid talking. They're going to go to that old house on the hill To try to talk to... Ghosts! Like there was such a thing.

Oblina: They'll be shaking in their shoes waiting for... [Laughing] ...spirits to appear. Ooh, ooh! This'll be fun, fun. And Krumm, it will be so easy.

Krumm: Yeah! It's the perfect pair scare.

Skrink: Hey, partner!

Ickis: Shh! Come on, let's get out of here.

Skrink: [Muffled]: But where are we going?

Ickis: To the perfect pair scare.


Ickis: Quiet.

Skrink: Aye-aye, partner.

Ickis: Oh, we have got to do something about that. Come on! We got to hurry!

Skrink: I'm going as fast as I can.

Woman: If I was a spirit, I would totally hang out here.

Man: For sure, if anything shows up... I'm getting a picture of it.

Skrink: Uh, which way now?

Ickis: We're almost there.

Skrink: Ickis, I can't fit through that.

Ickis: Sure you can, try!


Ickis: What do you see?

Skrink: An old cellar! This must be it. But... I can't get all the way out. Ickis? Ickis? What are you doing back there?


Skrink: Good thinking, partner. Let's go.

Ickis: You know, I'd like to-- Very, very much. But I kind of stuck.

Skrink: Stuck?

Ickis: [ Whiny]: YEEEESSS!

Man: Did you hear that?

Woman: Spirits of the house... Are you here spirits?

Krumm: Hey, look at this.

Oblina: What? What is it?

Krumm: Four of them. Two boy humans and two girl humans. And we have to be careful. They have a flashbox.

Oblina: Follow me.

Man: What's that noise?

Woman: The sound of spirits headed our way?


Woman: Uh, wait a minute. Why is that dog barking?

Man: It-it senses the arrival of our spirit friends?

Woman: Spirits? If you can, like, hear me Do something, so we'll, like, know you're there, okay?

Ickis: This doesn't sound good. Hurry!


Ickis: [Raspy]: Oh, hi, guys.

Krumm: Ickis! Um, what are you doing here?

Oblina: Never mind, I have an idea what Ickis is doing here-- you little wabbit.

Ickis: Uh, we can discuss this later, oblina.0 Now just get me out of here, won't you?

Oblina: And go where? Those humans have a flashbox.

Ickis: Then better make friends with that bark-and-bite.

Oblina: Ooh, he's right, Krummy.

Krumm: Nice little barky. ♪ Sweet little bite ♪ Nice little bitey ♪ Time not to fight.

Woman: The spirit talks to dogs? It's coming from the cellar.

Krumm: ♪ Cute little barky ♪ Cute, cute, cute, cute ♪ Oh, don't come over here ♪ ♪ Or... I'll stink on your snoot! ♪

Man: The spirit sounds wimpy. Come on, let's get a picture of whatever this is.


Oblina: They're coming.

Ickis: What do we do?!

Boy: Did you hear that?

Girl: Spirits?

Oblina: Where is Skrink?!

Ickis: It figures The first sign of trouble and he runs away.

Woman: Mike? What was that?

Mike: I-I don't know.

Krumm: What was that?

Oblina: I don't know.

Mike: Let's go down. You're not scared, are you?

Krumm: That doesn't sound very friendly.

Oblina: Come now, it is not...

Both: Ghosts!

Woman: That was definitely, like, something.

Mike: Um... Maybe we should wait till morning?

Ickis: Oh, oh, get me out of here!


Skrink: Situation under control... Partner.

Ickis: You? You did all that?

Skrink: Sure. It's what I do. I tried to tell you.

Oblina: Absolutely wonderful.

Gromble: Last night, my dearest disappointments One of our odiferous order had what I would call a standout scare.

Ickis: Let me just say that oh, there comes a time in each monster's life...

Gromble: I'm referring to the Skrink! Please, Mr. Skrink, would you be kind enough To grace the class With a demonstration of your talents?

Ickis: Yes, yes, yes, yes!