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— This is a transcribed copy of Where Have All the Monsters Gone?. —
Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "The War is Over" Next: "Simon Strikes Back"

[It all started at the Hospital.]

Man: Don'‘t send me Back in there. It'‘s unbearable. They just keep coming And coming and coming!

man 2: Man, if these people Don'‘t stop having babies, This whole town'‘s Gonna explode.

[Meanwhile, the monsters appear from the bathroom.]

Krumm: There's our boy.

Oblina: Ickis, watch for intruders! Cover me!

[Krumm jumps on Oblina]

Oblina: Not like that!

Ickis: Why do you always get to do the Fun stuff, why can'‘t I ever-- Because.because nothing--

Oblina: Because!

[Now we cut back to the auditorium,]

Gromble WHAT'S SO FUNNY! Kriggle!

Kriggle: Well, sir, you see, Wh-wh-what was funny was--

Gromble: I know what'‘s funny!But that wasn't funny.

Hey, what about when the spray Went up ickis'‘ nose?

Gromble: I suppose there was something Humorous in that, yes. But let us not Overlook one thing. It was a failure! A failure, not only for ickis, Krumm and oblina, But for all of us as well.

Snav: We failed because they messed up?

Gromble: Exactly, because...

Oblina: Here we go again.

Gromble: Because every time you fail to complete a scare.

Ickis: The pool suffers.

Gromble: The pool suffers.

Krumm: Blah, blah, the pool.

Gromble: KRUMM! Am I boring you?

Krumm: Umm...

[Oblina and Ickis covers Krumm's mouth]

Gromble: The sooner you little muck Munchers realize We'‘re all in This together, the better. Now as for tonight'‘s Alumni party. It'‘s not some Romp at the top-- No, I want you all to be There and be hideous. Don'‘t disappoint me.

[???]

Long-nosed monster: I have no choice. There were humans everywhere. I have to call them off.

Little green monster: Happened to me last week same thing, never got out of the box.

Long-nosed monster: Scaris interuptus. I hate that.

Ickis: Have one, won'‘t you, They'‘re revolting.

This is no better Than the garbage

Boral: What do you expect?

Better garbage.

Boral: Who are you kidding, You loved it here.

Long-eared monster: I love scaring, I never like the food.

Big brown monster: That's funny, I love a food. It's scaring I'm not so fun.

I was so busy attaching the rest Of them, I tripped. My skin going everywhere.

So there'‘s me covered with Stinkin'‘ humans all around me. Well, they didn'‘t see me, but I'‘ll tell ya, it was mortifying.

Gromble: I'‘ve heard quite enough. Your failed scares seem like A joke to all of you. Have you forgotten Why you'‘re here?

Krumm: Um, our mothers and fathers Loved each other very much, So they got together and--

Gromble: to scare! Don'‘t you realize what'‘s Happening up there? undreds of new humans Are arriving every day. Babies are being born By the dozens. Do you know What that means?

Krumm: Their mothers and fathers Loved each other very much

Gromble: More people who have Never been scared! And never will be unless We work even harder. We must Increase our scaring.

Little green monster: Uh, let me get this straight, you want us to be scary even more than already we are?

Gromble: This party is over.

Krumm: No slime pies?

Gromble: I said the party is over. NOW GET OUT!

[???]

Gromble: The humans grow in numbers And nobody seems to care. What should I do?Tell my students? But they'‘re too young to doAnything about it. They'‘re only-- okay, okay. Say it, don'‘t spray it. I have been to the pool and it Is worse than I thought. Which can only Mean one thing. We are not scaring enough!

Friggit: We scare plenty.

Gromble: Perhaps we do, friggit, Perhaps we do. But there are more humans coming Into our sector every day. We need to Keep them terrified. You might say our balance Of scare is out of line.

Kriggle: How does this affect us?

Gromble: Does anyone know Why we scare?!

Ickis: So we don'‘t flunk out And disgrace our families And spend the rest of our Lives harvesting lint?

Gromble: We scare because we love it, And because it is our legacy.

Krumm: I'‘m more afraid of Being snorched.

Gromble: But there are also times when We scare because we must! To survive, and now Is one of those times. If the pool goes down any Further, listen to me-- Monsters will start Disappearing.

Ickis: You mean, poof, Gone, bye-bye?

Gromble: Yes, and you young ones will be The first to vanish.

Ickis: But gromble, can'‘t you do Something, talk to this pool? Tell it we'‘ll be Better monsters If only it'‘ll stop us From disappearing.

Gromble: The pool doesn'‘t Work that way.

So what you'‘re saying is We have to scare more?

Gromble: Exactly.

Snav: What if i, um, wanted to see This pool for myself?

Gromble: You'‘re not ready To see the pool. None of you are. It'‘s much too powerful. It could very well Swallow you up.

Ickis: Is going back To bed an option?

Gromble: We may be in for trouble, and if We are, I'‘m going to rely on Each and every one of you To scare brilliantly.

Ickis: Did he have To say that?

Gromble: My students don'‘t seem to Understand, either. Maybe I should try To handle this myself. Why, I could scare hundreds, Maybe even-- Do nothing? You can'‘t be serious. You don'‘t expect me to just Stand by while Ickis-- what makes you Think he can handle this? All right, already. I hope you know what You'‘re doing. So much for these!

[???]

Oblina: I am famished.

Ickis: How can you think About food? Aren'‘t you the least bit Curious about--

Oblina: Must you bring up that Alleged pool again? If I hear one more word.

Ickis: But the Gromble said...

The gromble said, The gromble said, it'‘s bogus! He talks about that pool Every time he thinks We'‘re slacking off, But he never Really tells us anything.

Oblina: Honestly, ickis. Has anyone else ever Mentioned this pool?

Ickis: honestly, no!

Krumm: Mmm, smells like Rancid anchovies.

Do you know anyone Who'‘s ever seen it?

Ickis: unh-unh.

Krumm: It'‘s all sardines.

Oblina: Did it not ever occur to you That the pool might just be The gromble'‘s way of motivating Us to scare more, hmm?

Ickis: All I am saying is there Could be a pool. A

nd you could be the next Gorblat champion of the academy.

Oblina: Good one.

Ickis: What about the disappearing monsters, huh?

Oblina: Poppycock!

Ickis: But I'‘m young. And the young ones are The first to go.

Oblina: I have never seen a single Monster disappear, Unless you count krumm When it'‘s time to cram For our screeching exams.

Yeah, oblina'‘s right.never happened.

Jigger: It's a bunch of stuff.

Ickis: Monsters could be Disappearing already And we wouldn'‘t Even know it.

Oblina: You just do not Get it, do you? It is never Going to happen.

[Monster] I don'‘t care what The gromble says. I'‘m never gonna disappear.me either.

Krumm: I don'‘t wanna disappear.

Kriggle: [Imitating the gromble] But I have been To the pool And it is falling. Crazy old codger.

Did I tell ya, that guy'‘s not Playing with a full grishnak.

I don'‘t think he'‘s playing With half a grishnak.[Laughing]

Gromble: He wouldn'‘t know a grishnak If it him in the face. So I'‘m a crazy Old codger, am i? And you'‘re tired hearing about The pool, are you? Well, I'‘m tired Of talking about it. Why don'‘t we just see what Happens, shall we?

Ickis: See you in class tomorrow, sir.

Gromble: I THOUGHT I MADE MYSELF CLEAR! I will assign no more scares, and I will teach no more classes.

Ickis: What are we gonna do now?

[???]

Oblina: Watch it, I'‘m ticklish.

Krumm: Oh, I was this close.

Admit it, ickis, it doesn'‘t get Any better than this.

Ickis: No thanks, it gives me gas.

Krumm: What's a matter, pal?

Ickis: Nothing!

Oblina: You cannot fool me. Look, all the other monsters are having more fun than you. What is wrong with taking little breakie? Think of it as a vacation.

Krumm: I like vacation.

Ickis: Color me sensitive, but have any of you spook what the Gromble said?!

Merf: Are you kidding?

Izzith: Why should we?

Snav: Yeah, right.

Oblina: Look, ickis, if you want to make Yourself crazy Over things that will never, Ever happen, that is fine. But the rest of us are enjoying Our time off, okay?

Krumm: Its conga time!

[???]

Krumm: I can get used to this.

Ickis: Why don't they all just leave already? They're eating all of our garbges and drunk on motor oil.

Oblina: Oh, what are you grumbling about?

Ickis: I am not grumbling, I just need my sleep.

Yeah, ickis wants to be Especially revolting For school tomorrow.

[Everyone laughs[

Hey, ickis, you know what Would make you feel A whole lot better?

Ickis: what?

A nice refreshing Dip in the pool.

Ickis: Very funny, Jigger.

Monsters: Jigger?

Oblina: Well, that's odd. He was just here.

Ickis: Or he's not in there!

Kriggle: Or In our room, either!

Ickis: Don't you see? He's disappeared, vanished just like the Gromble said!

Izzith: You're crazy!

Snav: No way.

Merf: That's ridiculous!

Ickis: First's Jigger and who knows what?

[The other monsters are shocked to see that Ickis' hand has disappeared.]

Krumm: I think it's your hand.

Ickis: Krumm, there's no time to joke!

Oblina: No, he's right. Look.

[Ickis stared at his arm and squeals in horror.]

Ickis: Don't panic! After all, its just one little arm. It's not like something truly horrendous, like my--

[The monster's legs disappear]

Other Monster: My leg!

[Kriggle's neck disappear]

Kriggle: My neck!

[the female monster's stomach disappear]

Female Monster: My stomach!

[Ickis shrieks. The monster's mouth disappear, she mumbles.]

Oblina: "“Venga frumpus"”! They're all disappearing.

Ickis: The Gromble is right! There is a pool as strong and powerful! HOW'D IT GET US?!?!

[One by one, the monster's body parts started to disappear.]

Krumm: Don't panic.

[Krumm's eyes have disappeared, he screams]

Krumm: My eyes! My eyes!

Oblina: Krumm, stop doing that! I cannot think!

Ickis: What is it to think about? We are about to be blink out of the system!

Krumm: Don't say blink.

Ickis: We have got to find the Gromble.

Oblina: Why don't we just go scaring like the Gromble said?

Krumm: How are we supposed scare? I can't see a thing.

Ickis: Besides, there'‘s nothing left For humans to be scared of. I say we get the gromble While I am still mostly here.

[His body disappears, leavingo nly his head.]

Krumm: Maybe you should scare. A head without a body Can be very upsetting.

Ickis: So can a group of scared humans Stomping on me. You two go on without me.

Oblina: If it's your choice. Come, Krumm.

Krumm: I'm with Ickis on this one. I'm kinda helpless.

Ickis: Krumm, your pit hair!

Krumm: What about it?

Ickis: Let's put on this way. You're not having a good hair day.

Oblina: Very well. Look for the Gromble if you wish. I'm going to scare. Who is coming with me?

Monster without body: I don't know.

Spiky Monster: How can we?

Yellow monster: Look at us!

Hairyette: We are disappearing!

Oblina: Are you going to let A little thing Like disappearing Body parts get you down?

This isn'‘t gonna work.

can you believe this?

There'‘s gotta be A better idea.

Hey, wait for me.

Kriggle: You cramp my style.

Ickis: The gromble would Never leave us. He probably just stepped out, You know, get some lunch, Look up some scares, Forage for new pumps? He'‘s never coming Back, is he? [Crying] Never, never!

Krumm: Get a hold of Yourself, ickis.

Ickis: I wish I could.

Oblina: jackpot!

[Woman] Is there somewhere We can put these? Oh, good.

[Oblina's arms disappear]

Man: Hmm banal, yet

Woman: Effortless in its simplicity yet Staggering in its complexity.

Kriggle: Come on, we'‘ve gotta do this Now, they'‘re coming.

Snav: Just wait a minute, I'‘m a Righty, I need time to adjust.

Kriggle: Oh, forget it, I'‘ll do it alone.

Man: Ugly yet Well, just ugly, Actually.

Woman: Yes, quite.

[???]

You go.

no, you go.

No, you go!

[???]

So this wartloo

Pushes me out and boom. I'‘m grelch, the monster Bowling ball.

Oblina: Monsters, I'‘m afraid our Recent attempts at scaring Were not our best. And it looks as though we are Worse off than we thought.

Snav: We need the gromble, He'‘ll know what to do.

Ickis: I'‘m with snav. Without the gromble, We are history.

Oblina: Well, we don'‘t know Where he is, now do we?

Ickis: We need a plan.

Kriggle: A plan.

Krumm: yeah, a plan.

Snav:Right, ickis has a plan.

Kriggle: What'‘s the plan?

Ickis: i said we need a plan, Not that I had one.

Kriggle: Then make one!

Ickis: Okay, all right. Maybe if we started with Some easy scares.

Good idea, ickis. yeah, way to go.

How do we do that?

Ickis: You two go to the Hall of records. They should have easy scares Listed there. Then you can assign them Back here in a little while. The rest of you Wait here.

You call this a plan?

we just stand around?

This is bad.

Oblina: aren'‘t you coming with us? I am going to spend my time Looking for the gromble. Or maybe I could Go with you.

Oblina: Why, it'‘s huge. How shall we ever find The easy scares, how?

Krumm: Yeah, we'‘ll Disappear completely Before we get through one aisle Of this place.

Silence! Does the gromble Know you'‘re here?

Oblina: Well, we are--

no talking in The hall of records.

Oblina: Well, how do you expect us To answer you?

Is this some Kind of riddle?

Oblina: honestly.

Ickis: Can you please tell us where the Easy to scare files are located? We'‘re in kind of a hurry!

What'‘s the matter With you two?

Krumm: There'‘s three of us and We'‘re disappearing fast.

Now why would you Wanna do that?

Ickis: we don'‘t want to!

Then why don'‘t you stop?

Oblina: Where are the easy To scare files?!

Three rows down At the very top.

Oblina: Thank you.

Don'‘t run! And they say I'‘m not all there.

Ickis: Go ahead, just lob me Right up there. I'‘ll just climb It with my teeth.

Oblina: Ickis, dear, you make a lot Of noise for only a head. It is going to Have to be krumm. He'‘s the only one with arms.

Krumm: How high is it?

Ickis: not high at all.

Oblina: Just climb straight up And we will direct you.

Krumm: Okay.

Ickis: Ow!

[???]

Monsters: Wow.... It's the pool.

Ickis: The Gromble! We're save!

Gromble: So, you're here?

Oblina: Not entirely, sir. We are disappearing.

Ickis: You gotta help us.

Krumm: We're the ones you can help.

Oblina: Do something.

Gromble: I'm afraid there's nothing I can do.

Ickis: What do you mean there's nothing you can do?!

Krumm: How can you sit there and do nothing?

Oblina: I said we are disappearing! Can you hear me?!

Ickis: You gotta save us or we're becoming invisible!

Gromble: Any other ideas?

[Gromble shrugs and leaves.]

Oblina: Come back here! I said we are disappearing! But, hey! Come back here!

Ickis: I can't believe this is happening!

Oblina: Pay attention to me! Do you hear me?

Ickis: What will become of us!? Krumm, Oblina!

Pool of the Elders: Ickis!

Ickis: What?

Pool of the Elders: Stop!

Ickis: Stop what?

Pool of the Elders: Your.

Ickis: Stop my what?

Pool of the Elders: Snivelling!

Ickis: Who said that?

Pool of the Elders: I am the soul of your ancestors, Ickis!

Ickis: You are?

Pool of Elders: Many generations ago, Monsters were born With a human mind. Their fear of us Gave rise to our reality. We are no longer beasts! But we only live as long As humans believe in us. You must save The others, ickis, Before I dry up Completely!

Ickis: Well, if you didn'‘t spray That stuff everywhere.

Poolof elders: You must save them!

Ickis: why me?

Pool of Elders: If you can keep your head When those around you Are losing theirs, Then you will Be a monster, my son.

Ickis: I will?

Pool of Elders: It is your own lack of spirit That puts your life in peril!

Ickis: But I'‘m only a head!

Pool of Elders: If you use it, I think you will find That'‘s all you need.

Krumm: Who's he talking too?

Oblina: I have no idea. Maybe his brain disappeared too. We've lost the Gromble and I'm afraid he could be anywhere.

Krumm: We're doomed.

Oblina: I hate to say it, but it doesn't look good.

Ickis: Wait a minute. I still got my head. You still got your body. And we can be your eyes. So technically between the three of us, we've got one whole monster just waiting to scare.

Krumm: I don't know.

Ickis: Look Kruum. It is either that or we'll sit hear, waiting to diiappear. If that's what you want to do, fine, but as long as I still have a head in estistance, I'm gonna use it!

Oblina: Ickis, how comanding you are.

Krumm: Yeah, What's gotten into you?

Ickis: Well, Let's just say that I took a dip in the pool. Gather the students and the alumni together.. I got a plan!

Krumm: A plan?

Ickis: Yeah, and this time, its a good one. We're gonna beat this thing together without the Gromble.

[???]

Man: Fozzie dougal assesses the Situation and grabs a club. Ooh, a nine iron, a difficult Choice, but he is a pro. Let'‘s look on.

[???]

Man: Monsters.

[???]

Gromble: [Laughs] What the heck!?

[???]

Gromble: Excillent. Simply excilent. I couldn'‘t be prouder of all You creepy crawlies. Sitting by the pool of elders And doing nothing Was the hardest thing I'‘ve ever had to do. But you maggots worked together And weathered the crisis. You have made me And the academy very proud. Congratulations!

Leaky: Move out of the way.

Gromble: Now, now, there'‘s No need to rush. We'‘ve got all night. I'‘m proud of you, ickis.

Ickis: Aw, thank you, sir.

Gromble: No-no-no, I think you'‘re Destined for great things.

Ickis: Oh, well, it was nothing.

Gromble: Which is why I'‘m going To ride you Twice as hard As the others from now on!

Ickis: Thank you, sir.

All: Ickis! Ickis! Ickis!

[The episode ends.]

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