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— This is a transcribed copy of You Only Scare Twice. —
Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "It's Only a Movie" Next: "Less Talk, More Monsters"

[episode starts.]

Gromble: Excellent, Borl. Well done. All right, who's got a good scare for me? Wait a minute, what about Oblina, Ickis and Krumm? Need I remind you? If you don't complete your advance scares, I except you to all repeat this school year all over again. NOW WON'T THAT BE FUN?!

[Ickis, Oblina and Krumm shook their heads.]

Gromble: All right, time to pick your victim from our selection of "Hard to Scare" humans. Here is human #1.

Ickis and Krumm: Pass.

Gromble: Human #2.

Ickis and Krumm: Pass.

Gromble: Human #3.

Both: We pick him.

Oblina: Him. He is advanced scare.

Gromble: That's right, Oblina. He's one of the most challenging candidates.

Ickis: I'm sure he is. Oh, look at me. I'm shaking.

Gromble: I'm glad you find me so amusing. Here's something else you'll enjoy. You put this scare off for so long that you have exactly one day to complete it. SO YOU BETTER GET MOVING!

Ickis: There he is.

Oblina: This scare will be walk for the dump.

Krumm: Let's get him.

411: Operation: Evil Vision.

Oblina: Oh. This is just too easy. Let me do the honors.

Ickis: Wait, I wanna scare.

Krumm: What about me?

Oblina: Oh please. Can we settle this like adults? Hurry, the window. Other window.

Krumm: This way!

[???]

Dr. Evil: This must be the work of agent 411. I cannot let him stop "evil vision" My brilliant plan to turn all mankind Into mindless zombies. I have got to find that agent.

Oblina: We have got to find that human.

Krumm: Here he comes.

Oblina: Quickly, get ready.

[???]

Oblina: Uh oh.

[???]

Ickis: Look, by the big X, It says something.

Oblina: This is where I am going.

{???]

Oblina: Coast is clear. Are you sure you know how to read this thingie?

Ickis: Trust me. I know exactly where we are. You see this dot? It's that big tree over there.

Oblina: Ickis, that is not a dot. It's a bug!

[Oblina catch a fly with her tongue and gulps.]

Oblina: Yum.

Ickis: In case, we're completely lost.

Krumm: Guys, look at this.

Ickis: It's a magnet.

Oblina: Will you two come on? We have work to do.

Krumm: I'm stuck.

[???]

Krumm: Hey, look at this. Grool.

Oblina: Krumm, get down here at once.

Ickis: Yeah, this is no time for fooling around.

Oblina: Krumm, I insist you put down this minute.

[???]

Krumm: Sorry.

[???]

Oblina: Look, it's the human. Hurry! Get us down, get us down!

Krumm: Okay.

[???]

Oblina: Follow me!

Ickis: How we got him now. From here on in the scare will be smooth sailing.

[???]

Krumm: Sure it's dark in here.

Ickis: And clammy and creepy.

Krumm: Let's never leave.

[???]

Krumm: What's wrong, little buddy?

Oblina: Fishes!

All: Sharks!

Oblina: Krumm, open your mouth. Get on! I do not like this scare.

411: Hold it right there, evil.

Dr. Evil: Ah, agent 411 .

411: I wouldn't do that if I were you. This pen contains a powerful magnet And you, with metal hands Do I have to draw you a diagram?

Dr. Evil: You're bluffing.

411: Oops. Wrong pen.

Dr. Evil: I'm afraid you've lost this one, 411. Now nothing can stop "operation evil vision."

411: You'll never get away with this You twisted madman.

Dr. Evil: That's what they said when I tried to wear white shoes With a brown suit. But this time, I'll show them all. In a few minutes, My satellite dish will broadcast my image On every television in the world. Then everyone will hear my message of evil, hatred And meanness. Plus, my cooking show-- The evil gourmet! But enough chitchat. Good-bye, 411.

Oblina: He's in there And this time, he cannot get away.

Announcer: Warning. "Evil vision" begins in 60 seconds.

Oblina: Get ready.

Ickis: Oh, well. What's another year in school?

Announcer: "Evil vision" to begin in 30 seconds...

[???]

Gromble: Wonderful scare, glug. Well, that's everyone... Except Oblina, Ickis and Krumm. Oh, dear. Only three minutes left and they're not even here.

Dr. Evil: Hello. My name is Dr. Evil. I now have control of television. Soon I will deliver a message so evil That all mankind will be forced to obey my every command. Watch... And lose your will. You are under my power. You are helpless to resist. From now on, you will do Exactly as I say. I need a lozenge.

411: Hold it right there, Dr. Evil. This cufflink shoot off powerful knockout gas.

Dr. Evil: Really 411? You sure you don't want to try the pen again? Look at the pretty snowman.

411: Attention good citizens. This is secret agent -411. I have put a stop to Dr. Evil's fiendish plot.

Cyclops: Excuse me, sir. Is that a human Ickis, Oblina and Krumm supposed to scare?

Gromble: And they only have three seconds left.

Oblina: Hello.

411: Monsters!

Oblina: I say home, Krumm!

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